I'm-a getta hotel room-om-a,
I'm-a come from Napoli.
This a place a get me ra-at-ttled,
That a man think I say pee.
I'm-a call room service on the phone,
For some eggs and bacon lean,
I express to him it's vi-it-tal,
For two piece of toast I mean.

I'm-a a call back say I want two piece,
Say please use bathroom son.
But I say I want two piece on plate,
Say, hey boy where you from?
So I say, hey youm no unn-a-stand,
No capish-a what I mean,
He say use the bathroom for that job.
You capish? use the latrine.

I tell him hey I needa fork,
He say of all the nerve!
He's a say why don' you call youm wife,
The vow to love and serve.
I'm-a say what are you cra-a-zy?
It's a no-a what I mean,
Why you talk to me like some retard,
Wanna fork, don' get obscene.

I'm-a a go to bed real soon-on-a,
On the bed one sheet I see.
So once again I'm ra-at-ttled,
Where-za that con-cier-ger-ie?
I'm-a a call him back on-a the phone,
Need to sheet for when I dream.
Boy that seems to sound real vi-it-tal,
Please to use our fine latrine.

I say no sir now I beg you please,
I don' make this call for fun.
Need two sheet on bed and pillowcase,
Says, I'm a sicko one.
You will find we provide for that job,
Please to use our fine latrine.

So the morning, time to check-a out,
Man say he's proud to serve.
Youm all give me strife, insult my wife,
They act-a real reserve.
So the man he say peace unto you,
Your receipt, we have your key.
I say yeah pizz on all you too.
I go back to Italy.