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Song Parodies -> "[Baltimore] Bridge Collapse"
Original Song Title:
"Rhythm Steps"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"[Baltimore] Bridge Collapse"
Parody Written by:
Phil Ossifer
The Lyrics
Sing, (Start in to sing, you’ll have to swing,)
Then, you’ll swing, (Start in to sing, you’ll have to swing,)
That collapse is bound to get you,
Oh, (Turn on the heat, then beat your feet,)
Don’t go slow, (Turn on the heat, then beat your feet,)
That collapse is bound to get you,
Collapse, collapse, collapse, collapse, collapse...mmm...
(female vocal)
Bridge Collapse,
Start in to sing, then soon, you’ll be swinging,
Bridge Collapse,
Turn on the heat, your feet will keep beating,
One, two, three,
It’s a new sensation, (dee-de-oh!)
You’ll agree,
It’s the step that’s putting the world on its feet,
Bridge Collapse,
Once you begin, you have to give in to
Bridge Collapse,
Get on your toes, ‘cause everyone knows that
If you’re not a dunce,
Oh, you’ll catch on at once,
Well, smash that support, ferry,
Watch that Bridge Collapse!
(vocal trio)
Bridge Collapse,
Start in to sing, then soon, you’ll be swinging,
Bridge Collapse,
Turn on the heat, your feet will keep beating,
One, two, three,
It’s a new sensation, (doo-doo-do-doo!)
You’ll agree,
It’s the step that’s putting the world on its feet,
Bridge Collapse,
Once you begin, you have to give in to
Bridge Collapse,
Get on your toes, ‘cause everyone knows that
If you’re not a dunce,
You’ll catch on at once,
Smash that support, ferry,
Watch that Bridge Collapse, whoa!
Bridge Collapse,
(instrumental call-back)
Bridge Collapse,
(instrumental call-back)
One, two, three,
It’s a new sensation, (doo-doo-do-doo!)
You’ll agree,
It’s the step that’s putting the world on its feet,
Bridge Collapse,
(instrumental call-back)
Bridge Collapse,
(instrumental call-back)
If you’re not a dunce,
You’ll catch on at once,
Smash that support, ferry,
Watch that Bridge Collapse, whoa!
Simple as the day is long!
Then, you’ll swing, (Start in to sing, you’ll have to swing,)
That collapse is bound to get you,
Oh, (Turn on the heat, then beat your feet,)
Don’t go slow, (Turn on the heat, then beat your feet,)
That collapse is bound to get you,
Collapse, collapse, collapse, collapse, collapse...mmm...
(female vocal)
Bridge Collapse,
Start in to sing, then soon, you’ll be swinging,
Bridge Collapse,
Turn on the heat, your feet will keep beating,
One, two, three,
It’s a new sensation, (dee-de-oh!)
You’ll agree,
It’s the step that’s putting the world on its feet,
Bridge Collapse,
Once you begin, you have to give in to
Bridge Collapse,
Get on your toes, ‘cause everyone knows that
If you’re not a dunce,
Oh, you’ll catch on at once,
Well, smash that support, ferry,
Watch that Bridge Collapse!
(vocal trio)
Bridge Collapse,
Start in to sing, then soon, you’ll be swinging,
Bridge Collapse,
Turn on the heat, your feet will keep beating,
One, two, three,
It’s a new sensation, (doo-doo-do-doo!)
You’ll agree,
It’s the step that’s putting the world on its feet,
Bridge Collapse,
Once you begin, you have to give in to
Bridge Collapse,
Get on your toes, ‘cause everyone knows that
If you’re not a dunce,
You’ll catch on at once,
Smash that support, ferry,
Watch that Bridge Collapse, whoa!
Bridge Collapse,
(instrumental call-back)
Bridge Collapse,
(instrumental call-back)
One, two, three,
It’s a new sensation, (doo-doo-do-doo!)
You’ll agree,
It’s the step that’s putting the world on its feet,
Bridge Collapse,
(instrumental call-back)
Bridge Collapse,
(instrumental call-back)
If you’re not a dunce,
You’ll catch on at once,
Smash that support, ferry,
Watch that Bridge Collapse, whoa!
Simple as the day is long!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 183 | 183 | 183 |
User Comments
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Oh joy, somehow the relentless rest home rotter's Depends leaked yet another reprise of his favorite hoboes-with-oboes tune onto the board. OTOH, Greta Thunberg would be proud of all the recycling you've done: same old song, same old subjects, ad infinitum. Just out of curiosity, does your dictionary even have listings for "originality" or "wit"? I ask because most others try to work those into their parodies, but hey, you do you.
Captain Verbatim, AKA G&GBF-CopyBot, strikes again. What’s it say about someone who ripoffs the dead guy’s favorite song in light of a recent tragedy and copy/pastes my old responses? I’d say the dead guy was the more clever of the two.
Clarify something for me: how is your desire to keep on cranking out minor variations to the same song an "impediment" to me explaining anything? It doesn't surprise me that you can't comprehend how trite it actually is, but suffice it to say there's probably not enough bandwidth to explain why it's neither creative nor genius. If it had any merit whatsoever, musicologists would be all over it like they were with Appalachian music. Instead, there were only two people who were ever interested in it: you and your now-dead boyfriend. Just curious, does it hurt to be unable to create your own snarky comments?
Ya know, when I first heard about this disaster, my first thought was NOT "What does this say about America's crumbling infrastructure and how deep is the rot .. really?" No, it was, amazingly enough "How can we limn new perspectives about this incident via the instrumentality of the 200th parody of a song no living American has ever heard of? ... (No, not really)
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