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Song Parodies -> "Retail Theft"
Original Song Title:
"Rhythm Steps"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Retail Theft"
Parody Written by:
The Real Phil Ossifer
The Lyrics
Sing, (Start in to sing, you’ll have to swing,)
Then, you’ll swing, (Start in to sing, you’ll have to swing,)
That retail is bound to get you,
Oh, (Turn on the heat, then beat your feet,)
Don’t go slow, (Turn on the heat, then beat your feet,)
That retail is bound to get you,
Retail, retail, retail, retail, retail...mmm...
(Female singer)
Retail Theft,
Start in to buy, then soon, you’ll be buying,
Retail Theft,
Turn on the heat, your feet will keep beating,
One, two, three,
It’s a new sensation, (dee-de-oh!)
You’ll agree,
It’s the theft that’s putting the world on its feet,
Retail Theft,
Once you begin, you have to give in to
Retail Theft,
Get on your toes, ‘cause everyone knows that
If you’re not a dunce,
Oh, you’ll catch on at once,
Well, grab a car or TV,
It’s the Retail Theft!
(Vocal group)
Retail Theft,
Start in to buy, then soon, you’ll be buying,
Retail Theft,
Turn on the heat, your feet will keep beating,
One, two, three,
It’s a new sensation, (doo-doo-do-doo!)
You’ll agree,
It’s the theft that’s putting the world on its feet,
Retail Theft,
Once you begin, you have to give in to
Retail Theft,
Get on your toes, ‘cause everyone knows that
If you’re not a dunce,
You’ll catch on at once,
Grab a car or TV,
It’s the Retail Theft, whoa!
Retail Theft,
(instrumental call-back)
Retail Theft,
(instrumental call-back)
One, two, three,
It’s a new sensation, (doo-doo-do-doo!)
You’ll agree,
It’s the theft that’s putting the world on its feet,
Retail Theft,
(instrumental call-back)
Retail Theft,
(instrumental call-back)
If you’re not a dunce,
You’ll catch on at once,
Grab a car or TV,
It’s the Retail Theft, whoa!
Simple as the day is long!
Then, you’ll swing, (Start in to sing, you’ll have to swing,)
That retail is bound to get you,
Oh, (Turn on the heat, then beat your feet,)
Don’t go slow, (Turn on the heat, then beat your feet,)
That retail is bound to get you,
Retail, retail, retail, retail, retail...mmm...
(Female singer)
Retail Theft,
Start in to buy, then soon, you’ll be buying,
Retail Theft,
Turn on the heat, your feet will keep beating,
One, two, three,
It’s a new sensation, (dee-de-oh!)
You’ll agree,
It’s the theft that’s putting the world on its feet,
Retail Theft,
Once you begin, you have to give in to
Retail Theft,
Get on your toes, ‘cause everyone knows that
If you’re not a dunce,
Oh, you’ll catch on at once,
Well, grab a car or TV,
It’s the Retail Theft!
(Vocal group)
Retail Theft,
Start in to buy, then soon, you’ll be buying,
Retail Theft,
Turn on the heat, your feet will keep beating,
One, two, three,
It’s a new sensation, (doo-doo-do-doo!)
You’ll agree,
It’s the theft that’s putting the world on its feet,
Retail Theft,
Once you begin, you have to give in to
Retail Theft,
Get on your toes, ‘cause everyone knows that
If you’re not a dunce,
You’ll catch on at once,
Grab a car or TV,
It’s the Retail Theft, whoa!
Retail Theft,
(instrumental call-back)
Retail Theft,
(instrumental call-back)
One, two, three,
It’s a new sensation, (doo-doo-do-doo!)
You’ll agree,
It’s the theft that’s putting the world on its feet,
Retail Theft,
(instrumental call-back)
Retail Theft,
(instrumental call-back)
If you’re not a dunce,
You’ll catch on at once,
Grab a car or TV,
It’s the Retail Theft, whoa!
Simple as the day is long!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 65 | 65 | 65 |
User Comments
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Hey G&GBF, quit using my name for your retard repeat-a-thons.
I keep calling the folks at the Guinness Book of World Records about the number of times I’ve used the same song and/or idea, but just like everyone on here, no one is interested. I don’t care. I like repetition because it means I don’t have to think, and it’s pretty obvious I’m fairly limited in that capacity.
Now that you understand that no one is interested in what you do; why do you continue doing it? Why wont YOU change what you're doing. If you look at Today's comments, you'll see a list a songs by the the "The Hobbits" -- The Shire's Beatle tribute band. These titles combine two things that everybody here is extremely familiar with .. Beatles and LOTR. Which means the juxtaposition of the two will guarantee a good laugh. Because that is what song parody is all about. So give THAT a try
As I tried to explain to Phil Ossifer, it’s never been my intention to amuse you guys. I do what I do because I know most of you find it annoying, and I take great enjoyment in that. I’m a major league misfit with tons of issues that people find off putting. Since no one wants me around, this is how I get back at “normal” people.
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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