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Song Parodies -> "There's A Hole In Our War Plan"

Original Song Title:

"There's A Hole In The Bucket"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"There's A Hole In Our War Plan"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

In an unpresidented Amiright News scoop I have acquired the transcript from Vladimir Putin's working meeting with Russia's Defence Minister Sergei Shoigu the other day. You might have seen and heard their edited propaganda version on the interwebs already but please ignore that, this is the real thing (or at least closer to it).
There's a hole in our war plan, dear Putin, dear Putin
There's a hole in our war plan, dear Putin - Large hole!

So fix it dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu
So fix it dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu - Right now!

With what should I fix it, dear Putin, dear Putin
With what should I fix it, dear Putin - With what?

More killings dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu
More killings dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu - Up-front!

But our front is receding, dear Putin, dear Putin
Our front is receding, dear Putin - Set back!

Send convoys dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu
Send convoys dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu - More tanks!

But our tanks all been blown up, dear Putin, dear Putin
Our tanks all been blown up, dear Putin - They're crap!

Then soldiers dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu
More soldiers dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu - And guns!

But our soldiers are morons, dear Putin, dear Putin
Our soldiers are morons, dear Putin - Just mooks!

Use conscripts dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu
Use conscripts dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu - More grunts!

But them grunts are too young, dear Putin, dear Putin
Them grunts are too young, dear Putin - And dumb!

Just train them dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu
Just train them dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu - And fast!

What first should I teach them, dear Putin, dear Putin
What first should I teach them, dear Putin - To read?

Murder and pillage, dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu
Murder and pillage, dear Shoigu - And rape!

With what should I rape them, dear Putin, dear Putin
With what should I rape them, dear Putin - I'm limp!

Like our whole effing army, dear Shoigu, dear Shoigu
Like our whole effing army, dear Shoigu - We're f*cked!

That's the hole in our war plan, dear Putin, my Fuhrer
That's the hole in our war plan, dear Putin - Wake up!

© Peter Andersson (but feel free to record and spread this parody if you have the technical means as long as any money you make from that goes to Ukraine).

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