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Song Parodies -> "25 Parodies Of Christmas: 12 Crazy Hitmen"

Original Song Title:

"12 Days Of Christmas"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"25 Parodies Of Christmas: 12 Crazy Hitmen"

Parody Written by:

Jonathan

The Lyrics

welcome, ladies & gents of amiright, to Jonathan's 25 Parodies Of Christmas!
this Christmas Season, I will be posting 25 Christmas song parodies, and/or parodies that are about Christmas, in some way. hope you enjoy and Merry Christmas!
the first parody concerns a man who, for varying reasons, winds up on the hitlist of most people he encounters! some for petty reasons, but some not... please enjoy!
OS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9l-nxELuto
^ (John Cena Warning!: video contains John Cena, rather than the final "partridge and pear tree." just a heads up.)
well, the first crazy hitman
he was sent after me
'cause in neighbor's pool, I pee'd

and the second crazy hitman
he was sent after me
'cause of a dove
local kids' pet, I didn't see

and the third crazy hitman
he was sent after me
'cause again
I hit a dove
'nother kids' pet, I didn't see

and the fourth crazy hitman
he was sent after me
for flipping bird
at two nuns
outside a church
to be fair, I was quite tipsy

then the fifth crazy hitman
he wasn't sent, you see
his onion rings!
I scarfed them down
with ketchup
and he got p!$$#d
and he swore his vengeance on me

then the sixth crazy hitman
he was sent after me
for only sayin'
of all the things...
Bieber's a turd
said to fan
his number one
so she had a hit placed on me

and the seventh crazy hitman
he was sent after me
for just skinny dippin'
in the neighbor's pool
where I had pee'd
he saw my bird
and again
swore he'd see blood
man, these reasons are quite petty

and the eighth crazy hitman
he was sent after me
'cause I tried milkin'
Farmer Johnny's pet cow
turned out, was a steer
I yanked his thing
I didn't know
got a kick
was that enough?
nope, he had a hit placed on me

and the ninth crazy hitman
he was sent after me
for tried romancin'
with Bob's fiance
ah, she turned me down, though
so, I don't get it
what's the big stink?!
'cause I watched her
get undressed
and in the tub?
just one question, how'd he see me?

and the tenth crazy hitman
he was sent after me
for, quoting: "creeping"
and public fappin'
down at the lake where
babes were skinny dippin'
and some were layin'
topless, you see
they saw my bird
freaked, again
said: "that's enough!"
swore that this time, they would kill me!

now, the eleventh crazy hitman
my boss had called on me
'cause I slashed his tires
than him, the cheapskate
yet, he survived it
and promised vengeance
visited, regret it
in bed, was layin'
he fired me!
flipped him the bird
was tempted
to shed more blood
why I stabbed him, now, can't you see?

now, there's twelve crazy hitmen
who are all after me
twelve, that's a bummer!
I'd best go into hiding
better start sneaking
as to get past 'em
I robbed a milk truck
held driver, at gunpoint
then, was escapin'
"I'LL MURDER THEE!!!"
^ the driver said
shaking fist
as I drove off
I'm always making enemies!
thanks for reading and Merry Christmas!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jonathan - December 01, 2017 - Report this comment
slight error on my part, I forgot to mark this one by number. (1) future installments in the 25 Parodies Of Christmas, will mark parodies by number. (2, 3, 4, etc.)
Yumiend - December 01, 2017 - Report this comment
You didn't leave any onions for me? now you're in trouble
Rob Arndt - December 01, 2017 - Report this comment
Jon, what's with the topic? Anyhow let me hit you with three fives!
Claude Prez - December 01, 2017 - Report this comment
Gotta give you a lot of credit for tackling this song without the usual repetition. Great job! Gotta watch out for them true Beliebers
Jonathan - December 02, 2017 - Report this comment
Yumiend - crap, I'd better run!
Rob - I can be pretty weird sometimes, that's all. thanks 4 the 5s!
Claude - thank you!

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