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Song Parodies -> "Charlie Rose, Reporter"
Original Song Title:
"Yellow Rose of Texas"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Charlie Rose, Reporter"
Parody Written by:
Patrick McWilliams
The Lyrics
I was stunned to learn that Charlie Rose had joined the ranks of disgraced public figures accused of sexual misconduct. He always came across to me as rather straight-laced and reserved. According to legend, Julia Ward Howe, having seen Union soldiers camped around Washington, DC, woke up and wrote her masterpiece in one unbroken session. This parody is no "Battle Hymn of the Republic", but I did write it in one take at 4:00 a.m. this morning. "The Yellow Rose of Texas" is a traditional Southern minstrel song released in three different versions by Columbia Records (one of the founders of CBS Broadcasting) in 1953 (the year I was born) and I have a great affinity for it, especially the Mitch Miller recording. I also got to use a line I've had floating around in my head, waiting for just the right occasion. .
I watched Charlie Rose each morning
On CBS TV
Professional reporter
A man of dignity
Then came that gloomy Tuesday
I switched the channel on
And heard the news so shocking
That Charlie Rose was gone
His co-hosts, Gail and Nora
Were stunned like all the rest
They tried to be objective
I'd say they passed the test
"He seemed so straight and narrow.
He threw us all a curve.
Our studio companion
Was another secret perv".
He would read the news at daybreak
Do interviews by night
But he wanted more exposure
In ways that were not right
He wore an open bathrobe
With nothing underneath
And the women he invited
Would cringe and grit their teeth
He's another Harvey Weinstein
Who did not give a damn
A lecher like Bill Cosby,
Judge Moore from Alabam'
With the accusations flying
"Begone!" the networks shout
And the long career of Charlie Rose
Just sort of petered out
On CBS TV
Professional reporter
A man of dignity
Then came that gloomy Tuesday
I switched the channel on
And heard the news so shocking
That Charlie Rose was gone
His co-hosts, Gail and Nora
Were stunned like all the rest
They tried to be objective
I'd say they passed the test
"He seemed so straight and narrow.
He threw us all a curve.
Our studio companion
Was another secret perv".
He would read the news at daybreak
Do interviews by night
But he wanted more exposure
In ways that were not right
He wore an open bathrobe
With nothing underneath
And the women he invited
Would cringe and grit their teeth
He's another Harvey Weinstein
Who did not give a damn
A lecher like Bill Cosby,
Judge Moore from Alabam'
With the accusations flying
"Begone!" the networks shout
And the long career of Charlie Rose
Just sort of petered out
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 10 | 10 | 10 |
User Comments
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I votes 5s, but don't agree they or you are being objective. Al objectivity seems to be going out the window with this mass sex harassment hysteria. Can you really compare Rose to Weinstein, Cosby, or Moore?
In today's climate, one act, 40 years ago, is equal to a 30 year pattern of misbehavior. As a friend pointed out, Judge Moore has not been convicted of anything and denies that the alleged offenses occurred. His enemies had ample cause and opportunity to find dirt, if there was any, a long time ago. They apparently didn't. Or were they holding out for Moore to run for something really important? Of course, Moore is a Republican. Conyers and Franken are Democrats. That explains a lot about the media reaction.
Charlie Rose probably wishes he could experience a climax as good as your last line.
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