Rusty laments:

Oh, I miss my old show, 68 episodes,
Where fat Larry Modello I did play,
Though the plots were absurd, acting I learned
And hey- at least I got paid!

(Chorus)
Home Depot, how strange?
That I work there at my present age
Child star was let go, 'cause mom nagged, don't you know?
They let me go and we moved away!

From there to here, Burbank to Pa
Later, disappeared from all sight
No contracts arranged, for more TV fame
So I started telling a bunch of lies! (Three Dog Night)

I was depressed, sold insurance no less
Didn't tell my wife where I had worked
A detective did discover, that I was once an actor
But my wife turned him away, thought he was a jerk!

Moved to Jersey alright, Egg Harbor, that's right
Worked at 7/11 and tried to sell cars
Couldn't live with the shame, missed the old glory days
But Home Depot was a new start!

Tried to buy a RV by wire, exposed me as a liar
A Mazda POS I do drive,
Claimed nudie night clubs and Playmate back rubs
T'is but bullsh-t, on tall tales I do thrive!

I'm not much of a man, but you gotta understand,
How much the old show did mean
I was let go because my mom often groaned,
And that just ruined everything for me...

Now working for Home Depot may sound strange,
But at least I haven't gone insane
Not into drinking nor drugs, or becoming a thug
Just miss the old part I once played...
(And the fact that my hair's turning gray)