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Song Parodies -> "Because I'm Hannibal"

Original Song Title:

"Wabash Cannonball"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Because I'm Hannibal"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

I'm a proud son of the Carthage
Hamilcar's my daddy's name
I've led my nation's armies
to everlasting fame
Early in my childhood
I made an oath to Baal -
I'll never be the Romans' friend
Because I'm Hannibal!

So listen to the war horn
the mighty elephants
and clashing of the weapons
at sea and on the land
I hate, I hate the Romans
Men, women, kids and all
I never will forgive them
Because I'm Hannibal

Early in the Punic war
my nation held the Spain
we fought many a battle
in the sunshine and in rain
With mercenary army
I marched across the Alps
The Romans and the natives
they wanted our scalps!

So listen to the war horn
the mighty elephants
and clashing of the weapons
at sea and on the land
I hate, I hate the Romans
Men, women, kids and all
I never will forgive them
Because I'm Hannibal

I won the clash of Trebia
and Lake of Trasimene
and carnage at the Cannae
oh yes, I am that mean
But the Romans, they got wiser
that b*stard Cuntactor -
they could not win me on open field
they waged guerrilla war!

So listen to the war horn
the mighty elephants
and clashing of the weapons
at sea and on the land
I hate, I hate the Romans
Men, women, kids and all
I never will forgive them
Because I'm Hannibal!

Then, my brother Hasdrubal
tried to help me in Roman land
The Romans cut his way short
Metaurus, his last stand
I fought the Romans for ten long year
in battle I was never won
but Roman way of guerrilla war
left my deeds quite undone

So listen to the war horn
the mighty elephants
and clashing of the weapons
at sea and on the land
I hate, I hate the Romans
Men, women, kids and all
I never will forgive them
Because I'm Hannibal!

Back at the home in Carthage
I defended my homeland
at Zama with that Scipio
I took the fighting stand
Our forces they were crushed all
in exile I was forced
I was made to commit suicide
'cause I was the Romans' scourge!

So listen to the war horn
the mighty elephants
and clashing of the weapons
at sea and on the land
I hate, I hate the Romans
Men, women, kids and all
I never will forgive them
Because I'm Hannibal

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Callmelennie - June 10, 2016 - Report this comment
I'm not sure what's more amazing -- Hannibal's string of victories, or the fact that Rome sustained this unbelievable string horrendous defeats and still continued fighting, to the point of winning the Second Punic War
Susanna Viljanen - June 13, 2016 - Report this comment
Yes. Hannibal never lost a field battle in Italy, yet was forced to retreat home. Only in Scipio he finally met his match.
Callmelennie - June 14, 2016 - Report this comment
And that's because Scipio learned his tactics in the toughest military academy in the world -- The Cannae Double Envelopment School of Advanced Military Deception ....... And I think the most important lesson Scipio learned there was -- if it looks like Hannibal is doing something really, really stupid such as deploying a force with its back to a river and with a weak center -- it's probably a ruse

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