Now we welcome you to our fiesta
Our fiesta you know is the best-a
If you're nervous or angry or stressed-a
Then it's time that you join in our song

It's a Mexican lollapalooza
You can sing, dance and drink if you choose-a
There's no need to remove all your shoes-a
Just relax, have a hit off my bong

We're so glad that you came to our party
Say hello to Consuelo and Marty
Have some orange juice and some Bacardi
There's a taco bar piled up with food

Guacamole, blue corn chips, hot salsa
Kinda spicy, don't injure your mouth-a
Rice and beans and carnitas, what else-a
Mariachis to lighten the mood

There's tamales and cheese enchiladas
Abuelita is slinging tostadas
I'll be pouring the Piña Coladas
So chow down, buen provecho, Salud!

My Jewish neighbors brought some Perrier
Come meet my cousin who's extremely gay
A couple Muslims of course
My sister Sam who's divorced
Identifies as a man
But anyway she's still my sister Sam

Michelle Obama will be dropping in
Divine Miss M and Huma Abedin
And Barbra Streisand said sure
I'll bring the Clooneys, what's more
Sarandon and Nathan Lane
Are funding half of Hillary's campaign

With the Clinton delegation
We're discussing immigration
Foreign policy, inflation
K through college education

ISIS threats and global crises
Migrants dying on the high seas
Bill's appearance, yeah it's pricey,
So leave your checks and wallets at the door

Sandernistas, get out of here
I don't care if you brought craft beer
After Tuesday, not to be crass
Our Senator just beat your ass

And good luck with the Wall Street types
Janet Yellen is tweeting "Yipes!"
Why throw cash at the motorcade?
You're better off going eTrade

And so good night,
My friends and family
And total strangers, it was nice to see

We got along,
We mingled and we sang,
Exchanged emails
And some of us got banged

Take your bowls, leave my plates
At our potluck we trumped hate
That Canadian Cruz
What a nutjob, sure to lose

Here's a sticker for you
Slap it on your Prius II
This small button, aw shucks
That'll run you thirty bucks

So as you stagger to your car...

Be sure to thank your designated driver
Dude, here's your Über, don't forget your pants
Get busy, Grampa, time to change your diaper
Was that an escort, or a new romance?

Thanks, Diana Kennedy
Forward me that recipe
Time to stand with Hillary
As she's getting pilloried

See you next year at inauguration
I'll be raising margarita toasts
Hill and Bill, a third administration,
Muchas gracias, and Obamanos!