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Song Parodies -> "10 Little Skydiving Students"

Original Song Title:

"10 Little Indians"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"10 Little Skydiving Students"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

Skydiving is a sport where the participants play with certain - and very nasty - death. Here is a short description why so many people dream of jumping into the wild blue yonder but why so few become drop zone regulars.
Ten little skydiving students
think they'll do just fine
One gets fizzled with theory -
then there were just nine

Nine little skydiving students
think they're tempting fate
One gets in senses and heads for home
- that will leave just eight

Eight little skydiving students
will board the plane at 11
One gets scared at waiting
then there were just seven

Seven little skydiving students
are checking for their rigs
One hasn't tightened his harness straps
that will leave just six

Six little skydiving students
board the plane for dive
One hasn't zeroed his altimeter
woops - they are now five

Five little skydiving students
at four klicks shall jump off door
One gets panicked and dies from fear
and then they were four

Four little skydiving student
jump in air with glee
One can't find the boxman -
and then they were three

Three little skydiving students
are in the free fall, wooo!
one can't find his ripcord
and then there were two

Two little skydiving students
have now their first jump done -
Woops! One has hard landing
and then they were one

One little skydiving student
has landed all alone
He's still alive and thinks "Enough!"
- and then there were none

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Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 14

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - December 16, 2015 - Report this comment
I haven't done "10 Little Indians" in a long time. Thanks for giving me a new idea Susanna- 555!
Susanna Viljanen - December 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Let's say there is half a truth on this parody. You can pay for skydiving lessons, but you cannot pay for daring to jump at the moment of truth. On my own course, I have been the only one so far to have soloed. For some 50% of the students, their first jump is also going to be their last - they will find it only downright scary and never want to try it again. Only one in ten will continue for the full 'A' licence, and even fewer will ever get hooked and become drop zone regulars.

What was a surprise is that three of my old friends are DZ regulars (one ex-colleague, one of my college mates and one being my dearest foe from my swimming years). None of those girls were exactly surprised to meet me there, and we all are again friends. But I must admit it is a bit strange way to make friends.
Rob Arndt - December 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Latest tech is remote-controlled GPS guided chutes using motorline control. US, some Euro nations, and Israel use it for cargo drops. As far as bravery goes, you'd have to give it to the Soviets who pioneered modern military parachuting off the wings of Antonovs and the German paras who routinely jumped at 400 feet or less. I think 125 feet was lowest!!! That's just 1/10th of modern civil.
Rob Arndt - December 16, 2015 - Report this comment
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/69/Paratroopers_jumping_from_Tupolev_TB-3.jpg
Rob Arndt - December 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Small correction. Soviets used early Tupolev TB-3s and other transports. Postwar relied more on Antonov aircraft. Germans used Ju-52 and sometimes Ju-290s plus relied on DFS-230 gliders.
Susanna Viljanen - December 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob, the Soviets in winter 1941 were really desperate. They attempted to drop troops behind the German lines, but they had lost all parachute warehouses in the operation Barbarossa. So they arranged volunteers who jumped WITHOUT parachutes at 40 m or so into deep snow, hoping that would soften the landing. Casualties were horrendous, about 90% or so, but, miraculously, some survived. Those became the nuclei of the partisan units acting in the German rear.

The usual civilian jump altitude is 4000 m in EU, 12,500 ft in US. Jumps under 1200 m are called "hop and pop" as you have to deploy your chute almost immediately and get only 5 seconds of free fall. In Finland, you have to do one 8 second and two 5 second hop and pops to qualify on 'A' licence.
Susanna Viljanen - December 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Some notes:
* In Finland, the training begins on two days of theory, dummy practise and wind tunnel practise. One must pass the theory test to qualify to jump.
* Traditionally, the first jump is done on Sunday morning or midday.
* Every skydiver must check his or her own gear, called "rig". That includes checking the straps, the handles and the three-ring release locks.
* Everyone must also zero his or her altimeter on the ground. To avoid unfortunate consequences of negligence, which often are lethal.
* Your decision to jump is yours only. The instructors won't push you through the door if you feel terrified. Many novices indeed _do_ panic on their first jump. I was scared as heck, but managed to snap the "robot mode" on and jump without hesitation.
* The stable falling position is called "box" or "boxman".
* Modern parachute rigs do not have ripcords. They are deployed by pulling out the drogue chute by hand and throwing it into the slipstream.
* I myself landed hard on ground on my third jump. I did the rest of my student jumps with my right ankle on bandage.
* My fourth jump was actually the scariest. I jumped for the first time with a chute I had packed myself. Ever since I have had to pack myself the chute with which I jump.
Rob Arndt - December 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Germans first used parachutes in WW1 for pilots and Zeppelin bombers. Then, modern Fallschirmjaeger in 1938 in Austria to take an airfield. Could have used them in Poland, but didn't. Then 1940 Oslo, the low countries, leading up to Create. Not really a disaster with 25% casualties, but Hitler made the decision to convert to LW ground troops (excellent at Cassino). Waffen SS jumped to kill Tito, but missed him by 20 mins. Germans toyed with first flight pack Himmelsturmer long before Bell had the Rocket Belt. Modern LW SFs use Gryphon flying suit and smart board navigation.
Patrick - December 16, 2015 - Report this comment
I read an anecdote that the British were trying to recruit Gurkhas as paratroopers. When they told the men they would be jumping from 2000 feet, the Gurkhas expressed some reservations, and asked if they could leave the plane at a lower altitude. The instructor said "That wouldn't leave time for the parachutes to open". Then the Gurkhas acted relieved and volunteered, saying, "Oh, we get to use parachutes. Why didn't you tell us that first?" 40 meters over snow covered terrain in combat is a sure way to lose an airplane or two. I had never heard of "volunteers" deliberately jumping that low. How deep would the snow have to be to offer even a chance of survival? I can believe that most people who jump do so only once, as an adventure to talk about. My nephew did that while he was in the Navy. I used to write for a local conservative newspaper. One of the other columnists made a free-fall jump and wrote an article about it. Many first time jumpers go tandem with an instructor. Is that common in Finland? I read somewhere that military parachute riggers are required to jump with a parachute that they have packed. Good idea. Every day at AIR I learn something new.
Rob Arndt - December 16, 2015 - Report this comment
The future: http://discaircraft.greyfalcon.us/picturesw/hs7.jpg
Patrick - December 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Is this the sport you said was illegal in Finland: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YLEaRPffEg
Rob Arndt - December 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Gurkha paras in WW2: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Elephant_Point
Susanna Viljanen - December 17, 2015 - Report this comment
Patrick: Yes. BASE jumping is illegal in Finland and normally prosecution will follow, especially if the jump is made off private or public property, such as chimney or antenna. Skydiving and BASE jumping communities are two different birds, and an unwritten rule is that if any skydiver is caught on BASE jumping, his or her licence will be revoked. I personally consider BASE jumping an insanely dangerous stunt, and I just wonder why do it - there is so little time for free fall that it really doesn't invoke that wonderful feeling. But I guess there are just people who simply cannot twist the bottle stopper closed.

Last July one certain Finnish daredevil, Antti Pendikainen, performed a stunt where he jumped of a balloon in 4000 m without parachute, and his friends who jumped simultaneously, caught him mid-air and they rode piggy-back on ground on common parachute. I just cannot think about all that badwill such stunts cause to both skydiving and leisure aviation generally.
Susanna Viljanen - December 17, 2015 - Report this comment
Patrick: I have heard the same anecdote - tells something about the Gurkhas and their spirit :-) Yes - the Russian losses in 1941 - both on airplanes and men - were horrendous. Two meters of snow with bushes underneath would be enough at that altitude to decelerate the jumper safely.

Many beginning skydivers do their first jump as tandem, strapped on instructor. It is indeed common, but it is not mandatory, and it gives an excellent idea what skydiving is about. Others begin directly on IAD (instructor assisted deployment with static line) or AFF (Accelerated Free Fall).

In Finland, every skydiving student is required to pack themselves the parachutes with which they jump from 4th jump on. As I have packed sails all my life, I caught quickly the idea on how it is done. Many drop zone regulars refuse to jump with a chute anyone else has packed - as they have packed it themselves, they know it is done correctly.

It is indeed a good idea the riggers jump themselves with the parachute they have packed; that way they know their work and are able to perform good work quality.
Who The Hell Cares? - December 17, 2015 - Report this comment
Zero little skydiving students/Suits me just fine

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