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Song Parodies -> "Carson the Red-faced Liar"

Original Song Title:

"Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Carson the Red-faced Liar"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

You know Huckabee and Christie, and
Cruz and Rubio,
Jeb Bush, Fiorina,
Paul and Kasich too
But Dr. Carson once stood tall
Until his tales led to a fall

Carson, the Red-faced liar
makes sh-t up as he goes
He already acts so wooden
You'd think he was Pinocchio!

All of the other Republicans
used to respect his skills and fame
They elevated Dr. Carson
Admired that he didn't play Trump games

Then he started to deceive
Voters becamed dismayed
How could someone who seemed so bright
claim to be a teen thug once in life?

His numbers then did plummet
Living in a world of fantasy
Carson, the Red-faced liar
You ruined your own candidacy!!!

[Selected Quotes]

- the ancient pyramids stored grain
- I would mass rush a gunman
- Obamacare is WORSE than slavery
- replace taxes with tithing
- I tried to attack my mother with a hammer
- global warming doesn't exist
- no Muslim should be President
- prison turns men Gay
- school teachers should all be armed
- armed Jews could have prevented the Holocaust
- I might run as an Independent







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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.1
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   11
 11
 11
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 0
 0
 
 5   11
 13
 13
 

User Comments

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Stop lying, douche nozzle. - December 14, 2015 - Report this comment
About your Carson quotes:
1. He might be mistaken in his archaeology, but there's nothing dishonest about saying he believes this.
2. It would probably be better to shoot a gunman than try to rush him, but you need a gun for that. (See points 9 and 10.)
3. The fascist 0bominationDon'tCare system IS worse than slavery; slavery stole a portion of the population's liberties; 0bominationDon'tCare is stealing EVERYONE's liberties.
4. What's your problem with paying a flat 10% rate rather than half your income in various federal, state, and local taxes? Are you some kind of financial masochist, or can't you do basic math?
5. So what's your point?
6. "Global warming" has NOT existed for 18 years, 9 months, and counting.
7. No Muslim SHOULD ever be President; especially not a foreigner with a forged birth certificate and a stolen Social Security number like the White House's current illegal occupant.
8. The rapists in prison will be quite happy to demonstrate to you how prison can make a homosexual out of you.
9. School teachers SHOULD be armed.
10. Jews with guns WOULD have stopped the Holocaust.
11. So might Donald Trump. What's your point?
Jonathan - December 14, 2015 - Report this comment
apparently my judgement's slipping my first choice was Jeb Bush then he started acting like a spoiled brat Carson was my choice after that... any dirt on Rubio? 5's
Rob Arndt - December 14, 2015 - Report this comment
Laughable replies by former Commentator/Carson Apologist, but #10 takes the cake! FYI, Jews in Germany could NEVER stop the Holocaust up against the SA, German Police, Gestapo, SS, SD, and German Army at any time pre-war or during the war. Second, those Jews that fought against German troops in the Warsaw Ghetto were starved to death and liquidated by severe force. And third, even the Allies could not stop the Holocaust with all their military might. Bombing the rail lines could have saved hundreds of thousands of lives by delays but in-camp and on-site slave labor murder and liquidation of the weak upon arrival would have continued until surrender. It is ludicrous for Carson to say Jews could have stopped a Reich that exterminated 12 million in camps plus the majority of the 60 million killed during the war. The SA, German Army, SS, Waffen SS, DB, Gestapo, and Einsatzkommandos were not deterred at all. Even German citizens had the right to beat Jews in the street and to destroy their businesses without fear of prosecution. Saying an armed minority could counter over 60 million Germans loyal to the Fuhrer is stupidity.
Rob Arndt - December 14, 2015 - Report this comment
Thanks Jon. I never trusted Carson because he is cult 7th Day Adventist, too soft spoken, would make a weak CIC, and then all these crazy comments. He's a great surgeon, but is not qualified to be POTUS IMO. Try Cruz or Rubio. Bush is sinking into obscurity.
John Bunny - December 14, 2015 - Report this comment
"Stop lying, douche nozzle" is the world's only living brain donor. Jonathan, have an egg nog, take the shrink wrap off your donated brain, investigate the glories of punctuation, and then let Rob take you off his lap and fold you up and put you back in the suitcase.
Psych - December 15, 2015 - Report this comment
The troll psychos on AIR are scarier than the running Repub reactionaries. Very scary.
Patrick - December 15, 2015 - Report this comment
I'd rather have a President who believed the pyramids were grain silos than one who believes we can deficit spend our way to prosperity. Even if the Jews could not have stopped the Holocaust, a few thousand Nazis might have paid the ultimate price for their crimes, at the hands of their intended victims. Mejor es morir de pie, que vivir de rodillas. And the Jews didn't even get the option of living on their knees. Even if you don't win, taking out even one terrorist or nazi is to perform a service to humanity.

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