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Song Parodies -> "We Need a New Congress"

Original Song Title:

"Whiskey in the Jar"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"We Need a New Congress"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Welcome to yet more Kongressional Karaoke! (Part Five). As you picture these lyrics in your head, imagine your Congress people singing them ( or acting in the video!). This will probably be my last parody for a while (unless I see something incredibly stupid that needs a parody treatment); I have some paid writing gigs I have to get done.
We need a new Congress (Kongressional Karaoke V!)

(Sung to Whiskey in the Jar - Traditional)

As I awaited SCOTUS in the hope of a redress...
I saw a D.C. shitstain; it was our darling Congress
I read of the feats of Hercules and the Augean stables
He needed a river to clean it but would the Potomac be able?

What the hell are they up to now? They're sure to do us wrong,
They're sure to do us wrong, We need a new Congress!

In charge of the House were.. Pelosi and Boehner
two filthy scurrilous rats; who in hell put them on retainer?
The stench of the deals erupted as they were traced back to their owners...
I can't say what John will give you but i think it rhymes with groaner....

I swear that something died in there! They've sacrificed our trust!
They've sacrificed our trust! We need a new Congress!

I saw a hack senator.. squinting through some diopters..
While Harry Reid was mumbling about some black helicopters..
How did it come to this? These people need renouncing..
There was Senator Boxer and the checks that she was bouncing!!

It's our fault that things got like this, These bastards are corrupt,
and morally bankrupt, We need a new Congress!

Senator McCain, he prated... about his crafted legislation..
but Kennedy-McCain was some sort of abomination...
A Senator for thirty years... he is a politifossil..
can we vote him out of office and replace him with John Stossel?

This happens when they reach 'cross the aisle!, Term limts are the way to go!
Politifossils need to go! We need a new Congress!

They're so smug looking that it is vile! Reid is a wacko!
Retire or out you go! We need a new Congress!

(Guitar Solo.. Perhaps with Rand Paul and Ted Cruz while others are trying to pull the plug?)

As Congreess eyed a deal.. to keep iran from going fissile...
Thy plotted to steal our rifles and to dry cap all our pistols!!
Why so shocked a face..and expression of dread?
It's the fault of you and me; we keep electing the same shitheads!!

They will destroy the Republic we have!, Term limits for them now,
Term limits for them now, We need a new Congress!

At times I like to daydream about a sane Congress operation...
where the pols work for the people in blissful cooperation
Where government actually works without laughs of derision...
But the screech of Nancy Pelosi sort of desecrated that vision!

We're in danger now so why do we laugh? Humor helps us through,
As we watch the things they do, We need a new Congress!

As we await the latest Pol gaffe, parodies are what we'll do,
as they short change me and you! We need a new Congress!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 2   1
 3   1
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

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John Jenkins - August 18, 2015 - Report this comment
All good, particularly the 'politifossil/John Stossel' couplet.
Patrick - August 19, 2015 - Report this comment
I agree. "Politifossil" is an outstanding new word. I can't match the melody in my head, but the lyrics are quite well done. We don't need term limits, we need recall. Stop them in their tracks before they can do any more damage.

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