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Song Parodies -> "(WW2) German Army and Navy"

Original Song Title:

"Army and Navy"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"(WW2) German Army and Navy"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The OS is a nursery rhyme...
“We're not Nazis, we want to plead,*
Unlike black troops of Hitler's Army**;
We've taken lives, it's plain to see,
But don't gas the weak with Zyklon B”

They stood attention, ready to march,
With Mausers ready to hit their marks
They drilled so well. Performed Blitzkrieg***,
Ready to fight the Red Army!

They had force friends... were not Nazis,
The sailors of the Kriegsmarine.
"We sail, said they, the oceans blue,”
70% died in vessels-U!

In soldiers blood and sailors too,
They did the best that they could do
To die for the Fatherland WAS expected
But oft by Hitler were neglected...

[Himmler's SS was self-protected]****
* German Army was FORCED to pledge alliegance to Hitler and NOT the Fatherland, as was traditional
** Waffen SS, Einsatzkommandos, DB, SD, RuSha, and Gestapo
*** Blitzkrieg= Lightning War or Combined Arms
**** Although Hitler decided foreign policy, Himmler's SS was a state-within-a state that answered to no one, not even Speer as Armaments Minister nor Hitler in its capacity and own research programs. they controlled all conquered territories, slave labor, and underground construction, as well as allocation of all the latest weapons after the July 20th bomb plot. SS General Kammler in charge of all German secret weapons including: the Bell Device, Second German atomic bomb program of late '44, the Amerika Bomber, Prufstand XII, new cluster rocketry, and a range of bombs equal in destruction to the A-bomb like Liquid Oxygen Bomb, Molecular Bomb, and FAEs (first was tested in the Baltic in March 1945, the second was theoretical by Karl Nowak, and the third were never used by the Luftwaffe as no one wanted to handle the bombs)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 6
 6
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Nazi Hunter - September 01, 2014 - Report this comment
Still twisting yourself into a beer pretzel to glorify/excuse the gray wolves ("Das Boot" by Wolfgang Peterson) and many others of the German military. The Kriegsmariners left torpedoed Brits in the water to die, but at least an obligatory tear was shed. I never want to hear "I vas chust following orders." Most of all, I'd love for you to shut up and evaporate.
Your****footnote reeked of an egregious display of mostly irrelevant pedantry.
Rob Arndt - September 01, 2014 - Report this comment
@NH, your remarks show how ignorant you are historically. Let me clue you in. Stalin for one killed 7 million in the Ukraine in artificial famine in the '30s. SEVEN MILLION and constantly purged his military and aviation specialists (b/c he hated flying and also intellectuals). He killed their rocketry programs, had his own forces massacred in any retreats against the Germans AND allowed the Red Army to rape 2.3 million German women in 1945. A Russian sub I-25 sunk unarmed Wilhelm Gustloff with 6000+ deaths including the BDM girls plus thousands more for Goya and the Stueben in the Baltic. The Western Allies also terror-bombed Dresden in a display or might even though the city had no real military value and they ALSO raped German women in the Western sectors- American, British, Brit Commonweath, French, and French Colonials troops. They raped even the nuns. And they also shot Waffen SS on sight due to the Malmedy Massacre, even when they surrendered. So the Geneva laws they preached were tossed aside when convenient. Many Allied marauder aircraft shot down German pilots that bailed out of German fighters. And don't forget that Britain and France declared war on Germany over Poland on Sept 3, 1939... only to later cede that nation over to Stalin at Yalta with Roosevelt and Churchill not giving a damn how Poland and the entire eastern block would be treated by the Red Army postwar behind an Iron Curtain. Millions were killed or hauled off to gulags in Siberia, used as slave labor to rebuild the USSR, or worse. The USSR marched over 2 million German soldiers back to the USSR for ten years of starved labor. Only a few hundred thousand made it back alive. The US and Britain also knew of the Holocaust and never lifted a finger to mount any liberation missions nor to simply bomb the rail lines that would have saved 100s of thousands. Pre and postwar, Britain and the US limited the number of Jews that could immigrate and Britain treated Jews badly in Palestine when the European Jews wanted to come back to their OWN land after being dispersed for nearly 2000 years (in 1945 there was a remnant of 50,000). If not for Germany in two world wars, no Balfour Declaration and no Holocaust to drive them back to their own land for safety. NH, you shouldn't open you mouth until you know all the facts. And for the record, the Kriegsmarine was very anti-Nazi. Albert Goering was anti-Nazi along with others that helped Jews during WW2. The German Army resented Hitler and did not like that they were forced to pledge allegience to him. They tried to kill him in July 1944 under VALKYRIE and Speer wanted to gas the bunker and disobedied his scorched earth orders in 1945. The German Army also hated the Waffen SS and Co. and in the early war years tried to deprived them of the best weapons. Waffen SS fought with valor using WW1 Maxim MGs, Mauser C-96 pistols, Lugers, older Mauser rifles, foreign arms, etc... until Himmler intervened and then they got the very best of the best equipment. While the German Army did commit some war crimes, there are ALWAYS war crimes in serious long-term wars. Many viewed German U-boat activity in WW1 as war crimes as well as introduction of chemical weapons by the Germans. And all guerillas are considered non-uniformed terrorists. They attacked German units and so the SS, Gestapo, and DB hunted them down. Britain supplied various guerillas during the war years, many of which were Communist, and then as the war was concluding even passed information over to Nazis to have them killed!!! In Japanese areas many Marine families were told that their loved ones had been killed while fighting the enemy and were heroes when in fact Japanese Army ninjas murdered them in their trenches or they were shot to death by friendly fire trying to kill those ninjas. Hundreds died. A secret for nearly 70 years. Lies are lies, no matter which ideology tells them: Nazism, Socialism, Communism, or Capitalism. We're all pawns in the end. And if this comes from anyone in Oz, your people killed Abos for fun and took their children from them until the 1970s!!! Japan should have invaded you and put you to the sword, but only bombed Darwin lightly. So please don't preach to me if this applies to you.
Zen Adam B - September 01, 2014 - Report this comment
Today is the 75 anniversary of the start of WWII. Coincidence?
Rob Arndt - September 01, 2014 - Report this comment
Congrats ZAB, you're the only person here who got it! I wrote this on purpose for today. And there are supposed to be intellectuals here...??? The start of WW2 is basic history. I'll bet that the majority of people here don't even remember the dates of VE and VJ-Days!!! And they want to lecture me about world history or war? A joke. Btw, Happy Labor Day folks :)
A1C - September 01, 2014 - Report this comment
Now you're insulting the majority of people here? Check your serum glucose.
Nazi Hunter - September 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Who the hell do you think you're talking to, Arndt? First you delete my comment, wherein I criticized your excusing the Nazi army and navy on the grounds that everybody behaves badly in a war. Then you mention the significance of Sept. 1, 1939, the date when Germany invaded Poland and STARTED WORLD WAR 2. Finally, you beat your chest over your alleged superiority to everybody else in knowing historical dates because only one of us picked up on the anniversary. IT'S WHAT YOU WROTE THAT MATTERS. In the last few days, you haven't learned a thing about your behaving like an arrogant Nazi from me, Ag, Phil, and others. Go ahead and have this deleted. Enough people will have read it.
Vigilant - September 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Like any common bully, you are a coward. When brought to task, you bare your neck and claim that you are not responsible for your twisting of the words of your critics or your affinity for totalitarian behavior, because you are sick and exhausted. As NH suggests, you are well enough to have this deleted -- but too late. You are done for.
Agrimorfee - September 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Nazi Hunter and Vigilant, comments can be reported by anyone and are deleted at the sole discretion of mods. Nazi Hunter must have said something pretty crappy that more than one person felt was worthy of deletion. (Before you b****, I am not a mod, nor did I report anything here)
Nazi Hunter - September 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Nothing crappy said, Ag. I know the rules. Arndt and only Arndt had my comment deleted. He has done this many times before because he characterizes criticism as a personal attack. He is a cancer on the site. This will be deleted by him.
Agrimorfee - September 02, 2014 - Report this comment
But HE can't is what I am telling you...unless he is a mod under a different name or he can hack the site. The former is highly doubtful, but the latter is probable.
Rob Arndt - September 02, 2014 - Report this comment
@A1C, NH, and Vigilant. First, get a grip and actually read what I wrote. This Labor Day DID actually align with the 75th Anniversary of the START of WW2, but the linking of Nazi aggression is your interpretation of my purpose, not mine. I wanted to see who knew what the date was and ZAB got it. The roots of that invasion go further back historically since 1919 with the ACC, the Treaty of Versialles, and the occupation of Germany's industrial areas. The Weimar Republic actually started an ambitious covert rearmaments plan BEFORE Hitler was ever elected in 1933. Weimar was working on strategic bomber development at home with tanks and paratroopers in foreign nations. People claim that the German excuse of feeling like being stabbed in the back in 1918 at home by civilains was a Nazi lie, but it is factual. Germany was already ripe with anger over the loss of WW1 and the unfair Treaty restrictions plus repayment terms. Add the Great Depression and Communists fighting in the streets and Hitler was portrayed as savior. But even before then, go back to WW1 which started with the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand and his wife. No way Austria was not going to attack the Serbs in revenge and Russia mobilized first to back the Serbs. Germany mobilized to back Austria and made the first move regarding its strategic war plans. ALL of Europe had been waiting to march since the late 19th century after Germany united and beat France in the Franco-Prussian War of 1870. Germany won and soon had both the largest land army by 1900 and a fleet being constructed to challenge the RN on the seas. Britain and France tried to keep Germany tied down with restrictions that the Kaiser ignored. Everyone wanted to go to war when it broke out but the Germans changed warfare with U-boats, chemical warfare, strategic bombing, etc... and so gets blamed for all European instability and aggression with associated costs. Not fair, so the seeds were already planted for WW2, even if Hitler had NOT come along. Weimar was already rearming covertly and you don't rearm unless you want to go to war in the future. Although not Nazis, the German people were still under Prussian militarism. As far as Nazi apologist is concerned, no. There is ample evidence that historically the German Army and Kriegsmarine resented Hitler and the Army tried to kill him in 1944 (such a sad loss of Rommel). Others helped the Jews and/or did not follow Hitler's last orders (like Speer). You people won't acknowledge that or condemn the Allies for signing over Poland's fate and E Europe to Stalin at Yalta to appease the Soviet need for a sphere of influence. You also do not acknowledge that the Allies knew of the Holocaust and did NOTHING to stop the murders. They COULD have mounted rescue missions or simply bombed the rail lines. They did NOTHING. As for the Balfour Declaration and the Holocaust that led Jews from around the world (the diaspora) back to Israel to form a state- that is all factual. Anyone of you critics read about the Exodus '47 ship? It was turned back from Palestine after British soldiers beat civilians and contained them under horrible conditions on the ship then in camps only to send them back to Germany because the French didn't want them. No one in Europe wanted the Jews and the Germans laughed when they were forced back to the hated land. I remind you again that even postwar Britain and the US limited Jewish immigration on purpose. You seem to recognize Anti-Semetism in Nazi Germany and the USSR, but not in France, Britain, and the US. In France the people turned Jews over in droves to steal their houses and businesses and frequently said these words to Jews that survived when they came back home, "Are YOU still alive?" So get off the soap boxes and out of the pulpits to preach to me. Come back when you can address all these historical points and can see another POV besides "Victor Song" history. The facts presented remain. All you show by trying to attack my disabilities is that you are petty commentators that can't fight back in a logical manner. And even though this parody is on WW2, it is still a parody of the "Army and Navy" nursery rhyme. I took something harmless and turned it into controversy. Parody in a word is mockery. Btw, the comments box rules state- NO PERSONAL ATTACKS. Shame you 2 or 3 can't follow basic rules and yet want to lecture me. You remain a joke.
Rob Arndt - September 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Hey AG, no in both cases. I am not a Mod nor a hacker. I simply filled out the complaint form over personal attacks that have nothing to do with my parody. I do not do that to anyone here and so they should not resort to libel, defamation of character, and attacks on my disabilities- period. Btw, I only stated my disabilities to answer a Q? by Patrick over illness. It was never any form of "excuse" on my part for anything. Just facts that I take meds, have blurred vision on occasion, and am often sick while writing (physically, not mentally). All that does is put pressure on me to write fast and submit. Most of what my critics write does say more about them and their thinking vs mine! I write about a wide range of topics and cover many nations. These people ignore that. They should look at my numbers and realize that TR parodies are NOT a majority and most when posted are about neutral weapon systems! But I don't want to hit them with too many facts. It might ruin their profiling me as a future gunman! Hey, Rob has diabetes- quick, call the police!!! ROTFLMAO!!!
Bewildered - September 02, 2014 - Report this comment
I'm confused as to what you think is or isn't a personal attack. You say "I do not do that to anyone here" and yet only a few days ago you wrote "Oops... the poor little wanker got upset" on someone else's parody. Is that not a personal attack? Do you feel that you can say anything you like to others but how dare they criticize you?
PS You've got a cheek to say "I do not do that to anyone here" when we know you do under a variety of fake names. Most of us aren't as stupid as you think.
Rob Arndt - September 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Show one instance of me ever saying anything derogatory about anyone's disabilities or disease. That IS personal. Wanker is not. As for political jabs, verbal sparring over controversial topics, and other clear debates, I do not view that the same way b/c of the reality of ideological, cultural, and socio-economic differences. It is to be expected. Btw, if you don't like either my parodies or myself, just ignore my submissions. I do not force anyone to click the links nor impede anyone from writing parodies here. Seriously...
A1C - September 02, 2014 - Report this comment
I did not say anything derogatory about your disease. You have made your disease an excuse for bad reading comprehension and other mental lapses. It is indeed an excuse because there is no other reason for you to sacrifice your medical privacy. It is that tactic, not the affliction itself, that is being jabbed at. As for "wanker" and "...your remarks show how ignorant you are...", those are examples of name-calling, and therefore a personal attack. It certainly does not contribute to the essentials of a debate. If you don't agree with me, then why should you mind being called a commonly used epithet -- like "Nazi"?
Julie - September 03, 2014 - Report this comment
Rob must be totally 100% completely insane. This is no other alternative. Yes Nazi Hunter, he's a 100% total complete cancer on the site.
Rob Arndt - September 03, 2014 - Report this comment
Hey Julie, thanks for your 3 sentence opinion devoid of intelligence. Can you argue any of the factual historical points I've introduced? Doesn't seem so. Can you handle dark humor? Apparently not. There are hundreds of authors on this site and 4 total detractors here. Do the math... not any kind of majority. Julie, you are just a worthless commentator. Where are YOUR parodies? Are you anywhere near 2500 with 4047 other entertainment submissions? Nope. So in evaluating your comment I give you a 0.00 ala "Animal House" :)~
Julie's Lover - September 03, 2014 - Report this comment
Hey, Rob, does that 2500 include this parody or was it the total before this parody was submitted. Could you give us a breakdown on the basis of genre? How many parodies were based on cartoons, advertising jingles, war, guns, Third Reich, I Put a Spell On You, etc.? What is the average number of parodies you produce per day? Any other statistics would also be much appreciated.
Agrimorfee - September 04, 2014 - Report this comment
I have said before, and I will say it bluntly, Rob...no one cares.
Rob Arndt - September 04, 2014 - Report this comment
Apparently YOU did AG, as you took the time to write more commentary on this thread. You like to see your S/N in print, dontcha? Too bad it's not aligned with parody production these days, but confined to the comment box ;-)
Julie - September 04, 2014 - Report this comment
Best parody I ever read. You are a genius Rob. Without you, this site is dead. Please post more. Automatic 5's in everything you post.

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