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Song Parodies -> "Dear Lord and Father of Mankind"

Original Song Title:

"Dear Lord and Father of Mankind"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Dear Lord and Father of Mankind"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

I guess I spent too much time in church this weekend... but it surely can't be only me who's noticed how dreadfully bad, both musically and lyrically nearly all hyms are?.
Dear Lord and father of mankind
If that is who you are
I can't believe you're really there
Or if you are, why should I care
Your rules are quite bizarre
Surreal and quite bizarre

I've read the bible end to end
And still I cannot see
If truly it's the Word of God
Then Jesus, Lord, you're worse than odd
In need of therapy
In need of therapy

One minute it's "Thou shalt not kill"
Then something else the next:
"Eye for an eye, and tooth for tooth"
How can this paradox be truth?
I'm totally perplexed
I'm totally perplexed

But worse than torture, worse than pain
Is all this hymnal verse
Compared to lift music on tap
Or even Eurovision crap
It's infinitely worse
Yes, honestly it's worse

So Lord, if you can hear this prayer
Then do one thing for me:
I wish you'd make them more adept
And far less lyric'ly inept
Who write their hyms for thee
Who write their hyms for thee

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.1

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   3
 3   0
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Fanny Crosby - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Check the spelling of HYMNS
Phil Alexander - April 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Melhi - April 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick D - April 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Now I'm going to have to post my origiginal "Hymn for Him"
Rick D - April 30, 2004 - Report this comment
That's called a musician's typo. Always trying to get in a gig.
Louise - April 22, 2007 - Report this comment
If only any of you were clever enough to write an original song instead.
Rick C - April 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Actually Louise, many on this site have written original songs, myself included. In my opinion, it is far more difficult to write a clever parody. For one thing, you have to stay within the pacing and rhyming boundaries of the original song. When writing an original song, those are defined as you go. Another tricky part is that you are telling a whole new story most of the time.There are few on this site more clever than the author of this parody. I'd like to see some your work, original or parody, so that I might compare it to the brilliance Phil Alexander has displayed on this site for years.BRING IT ON!!!!
Phil Alexander - April 23, 2007 - Report this comment
:blush Thanks for that, Rick... Louse: like Rick, I have written original songs - but you won't find them here because amiright is *the* best site for parodies. This is possibly my most embarrassing parody, however: I can't believe that I misspelt "hymn" three times over.
Justin G - September 29, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm laughing so much, my eyes are watering. Can you PLEASE write another few verses? Why is it your most embarassing parody?
Phil Alexander - September 30, 2009 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks, Justin - I'd rather not write any more, the OS winds me up too much. It's my most embarrassing parody because I had the sort of brain failure that left me unable to spell "hymn" properly (and I'm usually fairly hot on the spelling/typo/proof reading front).. OK, just one, then:

Dear Lord and father of Mankind
Do you care if you're cursed
By people who have all bad luck
And for whom life can really suck
Thinking you have done your worst
To them, you've done your worst.

..OK, not the funniest of verses, but never mind

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