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Song Parodies -> "Stormtrooper Shock"

Original Song Title:

"Jingle Bell Rock"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Stormtrooper Shock"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

From 1917-18 the German Army fielded the first true special forces with the Stosstruppen (aka Stormtroopers) that wore lozenge pattern helmets and sometimes rain gear as cammo, used body armor, carried anti-trench tools for cutting barbed wire and defeating obstacles, and used a long list of new weapons including disc grenades, the MP-18 SMG, the M17 Artillery Luger, and signal guns to attract German strike planes like the Junkers CL.I all-metal monoplane. They fought fierce battles in the trenches as shock troops operating in small groups. Effective but too little, too late as an Armistice was signed back home. They were to receive the land-based MG-15 and Gast guns, portable multi-shot flamethrowers, gas weapons, and other things on the drawing board.
Stormtrooper, Stormtrooper, Stormtrooper shock
Stormtroopers invade and Stormtroopers slay
Throwing* and blowing up installations
Trench sweeping with the new Bergmann**

Stormtrooper, Stormtrooper, Stormtrooper shock
Stormtroopers will to Stormtrooper kill
Fierce fighting and dying in trench warfare
In ‘18 despair

What a bad time, in a bad clime
To fight all night and day

CQB*** time, killin’ Brit swine
Hold the French and Yanks at bay
Using assault weapons, with lightning speed
That’s the Stormtrooper shock

Attack planes**** signaled with bombs incoming
That's the Stormtrooper,
That's the Stormtrooper,
That's the Stormtrooper shock
* throwing stick or disc grenades
** Bergmann MP-18 SMG (world's first true SMG)
*** Close Quarter Battle
**** Some use of Junkers CL.Is to attack trenches

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 4   1
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User Comments

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Patrick - December 16, 2013 - Report this comment
Your lyrics have certainly livened up what has till now been my least favorite Christmas song. I've handled a few of the deactivated disc grenades. Rather strange weapon. You never see them in the movies. The 1915 "potato masher" is far more photogenic, and likely effective. Have you ever seen an M16 or M18 helmet with the front or brim cut away. Story going around is that it was made for Turkey, so Muslim soldiers could touch their forehead to the ground when praying. Only 5000 made, not enough for the vast Turkish Army of the era. I think they were a variant worn by troops who handled the big stereoscopic range finders. Did you hear the news about Tommy Turtle? We're all going to miss him. By the way, I liked your "My Country 'tis of Thee" parodies. They read like something I might have heard from Garner Ted Armstrong many years ago.
Rob Arndt - December 16, 2013 - Report this comment
Patrick, back decades ago there use to be an authoritative book on the development of the German Steel Helmet with all variations. I never owned that one but wish I had it now b/c all I have are a few specialized German uniform books that cover Post-WW1 to Modern Germany with only the dog-eared German helmet prototype as a stand-out! Haven't read the comments ,so sad if something bad happened to TT! And the "MCTOT" parody was just spur of the moment- wrote it line by line off the top of my head with no planning on substance. Just went that way. America is just as guilty of violence and immorality as any nation with power and population. We are not pure and innocent, moral and righteous- never were. Land grabbing, attempted genocide, the Slave Trade, the KKK, Japanese internment, oil gluttony, and other crimes foreign and domestic reveal that the colors of Old Glory are idealistic and not true to the real character of this nation. If the colors were true they would be the same as Imperial Germany- Red, White, and Black (Bloodshed, Honor/Purity/Morality, and Death). No wonder the other parts of the world think we are imperialists- we act like it.
Jonathan - December 16, 2013 - Report this comment
woah! Rob you actually did it! 4's

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