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Song Parodies -> "Dashing Through The Store"
Original Song Title:
"Dashing Through The Snow"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Dashing Through The Store"
Parody Written by:
Onslaught
The Lyrics
Dashing through the store
In a mindless mad display
Naked greed abounds
Every Black Friday
Half off sales and more
Camped out by the door
Eight a.m. arrives and now
We race across the floor
Oh!
Wal * Mart sales, Kmart sales
Target sales okay
Oh, what bargains we will find
Right after turkey day-ay
Dillard sales, Penny’s sales
Sears has sales too
It’s a mad house up in here
Feels like we’re in a zoo
A week or two before
My foray to the store
Scouted every advert
To plan the perfect score
My strategy was sound
Objectives were in place
A Visa card and Master charge
And brand new can of mace
Oh!
Punch and poke, bite and choke
Pull each other’s hair
This is how we celebrate
This festive time of year-ear
Kick and yell, beat to hell
What else can I say
All this violence clearly makes
For a joyous holiday
Black eye and missing tooth
Attest to my success
Several gift wrapped packages
And a half torn dress
With triumph on my face
I stagger through the door
I load my treasures in the trunk
And head for the next store
Oh!
Fracture, sprain, stabbing pain
Dislocated knee
Battle wounds acquired on
My Christmas shopping spree-e
Rest a bit, first aid kit
Running kinda low
Walgreen’s got a BOGO sale
So I guess - that’s - where - I’ll - go
In a mindless mad display
Naked greed abounds
Every Black Friday
Half off sales and more
Camped out by the door
Eight a.m. arrives and now
We race across the floor
Oh!
Wal * Mart sales, Kmart sales
Target sales okay
Oh, what bargains we will find
Right after turkey day-ay
Dillard sales, Penny’s sales
Sears has sales too
It’s a mad house up in here
Feels like we’re in a zoo
A week or two before
My foray to the store
Scouted every advert
To plan the perfect score
My strategy was sound
Objectives were in place
A Visa card and Master charge
And brand new can of mace
Oh!
Punch and poke, bite and choke
Pull each other’s hair
This is how we celebrate
This festive time of year-ear
Kick and yell, beat to hell
What else can I say
All this violence clearly makes
For a joyous holiday
Black eye and missing tooth
Attest to my success
Several gift wrapped packages
And a half torn dress
With triumph on my face
I stagger through the door
I load my treasures in the trunk
And head for the next store
Oh!
Fracture, sprain, stabbing pain
Dislocated knee
Battle wounds acquired on
My Christmas shopping spree-e
Rest a bit, first aid kit
Running kinda low
Walgreen’s got a BOGO sale
So I guess - that’s - where - I’ll - go
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Voting Breakdown
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| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 2 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 3 | 5 |
User Comments
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Hilarious and appropriate for the wholly-dazed season, but bumpy on meter in a few places.
I thought it raced nicely ....pure fun
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