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Song Parodies -> "Dashing Through The Store"

Original Song Title:

"Dashing Through The Snow"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Dashing Through The Store"

Parody Written by:

Onslaught

The Lyrics

Dashing through the store
In a mindless mad display
Naked greed abounds
Every Black Friday
Half off sales and more
Camped out by the door
Eight a.m. arrives and now
We race across the floor

Oh!

Wal * Mart sales, Kmart sales
Target sales okay
Oh, what bargains we will find
Right after turkey day-ay

Dillard sales, Penny’s sales
Sears has sales too
It’s a mad house up in here
Feels like we’re in a zoo

A week or two before
My foray to the store
Scouted every advert
To plan the perfect score
My strategy was sound
Objectives were in place
A Visa card and Master charge
And brand new can of mace

Oh!

Punch and poke, bite and choke
Pull each other’s hair
This is how we celebrate
This festive time of year-ear

Kick and yell, beat to hell
What else can I say
All this violence clearly makes
For a joyous holiday

Black eye and missing tooth
Attest to my success
Several gift wrapped packages
And a half torn dress
With triumph on my face
I stagger through the door
I load my treasures in the trunk
And head for the next store

Oh!

Fracture, sprain, stabbing pain
Dislocated knee
Battle wounds acquired on
My Christmas shopping spree-e

Rest a bit, first aid kit
Running kinda low
Walgreen’s got a BOGO sale
So I guess - that’s - where - I’ll - go

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   2
 2
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 5
 

User Comments

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Barry J. Mitchel - December 05, 2013 - Report this comment
Hilarious and appropriate for the wholly-dazed season, but bumpy on meter in a few places.
Dave W. - December 09, 2013 - Report this comment
I thought it raced nicely ....pure fun

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