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Song Parodies -> "If I Had a Zeitmaschine"
Original Song Title:
"If I Had a Time Machine"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"If I Had a Zeitmaschine"
Parody Written by:
Robert D. Arndt Jr.
The Lyrics
I took this traditional OS (often used in schools as a question concerning altering history) and extended it heavily and modified it to suit my needs. I remember being asked the basic question in the opening verse of: If I had a time machine, what would I un-do? by my history teacher and the subject arose about killing Hitler. Would it benefit mankind or not? Most said it would and I disagreed due to Stalin and Mao killing 80 million by themselves and also all the regional wars and money spent on the arms race during the Cold War. So please do not take offense to the lyrics. They pose the same question. And think on the last line...
If I had a Zeitmaschine
What would I un-do?
Kill Adolf Hitler,
preventing World War II?
NEIN!!!
I’d travel back to ‘33
Berlin- right to the Fuhrer
Tell him to stop with the Czechs
Then advance no further!
I’d tell him play “diplomacy”
And arm the Reich for war
But don’t start any new campaigns
Until 1944
[Geheim Waffen galore]
SIEG HEIL!!!
And as for the Holocaust
I’d say “Don’t persecute the Jews”
Build the A-Bomb instead
HE 2-7-7 good news
Then I’d sit back and watch
World engulfed in mushroom clouds
Roman Empire thus restored (with)
Stalin’s wretched land burned down
[Keep some Lebensraum around]
EIN REICH! EIN VOLK! EIN FUHRER!
And Britain would cower in fear
While the US stayed in isolation
Germany above all else
Above every people, every nation
The Japanese could take the East
Forces would meet in India
Italians handling Greeks and Libyans
While Hitler builds Germania!
New Dark Age paranormal SS Satania!!!
But wait…
Isn’t that immoral?
An abomination?
Deaths in the hundred millions
Slavery, mass starvation…
NEIN!!!
No Stalin- no 30 million
No Mao- no 50 million
No colonial rebellions
No free for all world killin’
[World cost for war down by Trillions]
SEIG HEIL!!!
Just ONE Reich
With nations in submission
German tech shipped worldwide
To capitalist minions
Germany on the moon
Space flight leaps far further
Conquest for other world resources
Begins a century earlier
[No AIDS...and cancer…. a cure for?]
EIN REICH! EIN VOLK! EIN FUHRER!
No Facebook, no Twitter
No Internet wonderland
Just hard work and loyalty
Mandatory conscription
No living beyond one’s means
No living off the Government
No practicing homosexuality
Just endless concentration camps
[Is our world better with AH absent?]
NEIN!!!
Information Age immoral fiscal mess Satania!!!
(If only I had a Zeitmaschine…)
What would I un-do?
Kill Adolf Hitler,
preventing World War II?
NEIN!!!
I’d travel back to ‘33
Berlin- right to the Fuhrer
Tell him to stop with the Czechs
Then advance no further!
I’d tell him play “diplomacy”
And arm the Reich for war
But don’t start any new campaigns
Until 1944
[Geheim Waffen galore]
SIEG HEIL!!!
And as for the Holocaust
I’d say “Don’t persecute the Jews”
Build the A-Bomb instead
HE 2-7-7 good news
Then I’d sit back and watch
World engulfed in mushroom clouds
Roman Empire thus restored (with)
Stalin’s wretched land burned down
[Keep some Lebensraum around]
EIN REICH! EIN VOLK! EIN FUHRER!
And Britain would cower in fear
While the US stayed in isolation
Germany above all else
Above every people, every nation
The Japanese could take the East
Forces would meet in India
Italians handling Greeks and Libyans
While Hitler builds Germania!
New Dark Age paranormal SS Satania!!!
But wait…
Isn’t that immoral?
An abomination?
Deaths in the hundred millions
Slavery, mass starvation…
NEIN!!!
No Stalin- no 30 million
No Mao- no 50 million
No colonial rebellions
No free for all world killin’
[World cost for war down by Trillions]
SEIG HEIL!!!
Just ONE Reich
With nations in submission
German tech shipped worldwide
To capitalist minions
Germany on the moon
Space flight leaps far further
Conquest for other world resources
Begins a century earlier
[No AIDS...and cancer…. a cure for?]
EIN REICH! EIN VOLK! EIN FUHRER!
No Facebook, no Twitter
No Internet wonderland
Just hard work and loyalty
Mandatory conscription
No living beyond one’s means
No living off the Government
No practicing homosexuality
Just endless concentration camps
[Is our world better with AH absent?]
NEIN!!!
Information Age immoral fiscal mess Satania!!!
(If only I had a Zeitmaschine…)
Notes: Zeitmaschine= Time Machine. Geheim Waffen= Secret Weapons. HE 2-7-7 is Heinkel He-277 strategic bomber meant to carry an atomic bomb. Roman Empire? Germans are heirs through Holy Roman Empire (Saxon Dynasty- First Reich through Third Reich). Lebensraum= Living Space. Germania was to be Germany's future Mega-capital. And lastly, Germany is rumored to have been working on a cure for cancer prior to WW2. The Nazis were the first to link lung cancer to smoking and passed the first regulation laws, same for animal rights.
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User Comments
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Interesting question indeed. If Truman had not dropped the atomic bomb, my Dad might have been shipped to Japan for the invasion and I might not be here now "Wrecking" all these songs.
If you had a Zeitmaschine, you could go back to yesterday and see what I did to "I Put A Spell On You". Or just scroll backward on your computer.
Thanks Patrick- got it (although I only have 515 IPASOY parodies and JAB with 500, so 1015 total)! This parody was also inspired by the graphic novel "I Killed Adolf Hitler" by Jason, 2007 which is in animorphic form. The live-action movie version will appear in 2013 by the director of "Iron Sky" :)
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