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Song Parodies -> "Finland the Brave"

Original Song Title:

"Scotland the Brave"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Finland the Brave"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

Hark! when the night is falling
Hark! hear the guitars calling
Overdriven screaming with the death metal sound
Minor tunes and sounds repressing
with the words that are depressing
true soul of Finnish people there can be found

Towering in the wartime fame
Violent and full of flame
High-pitched scream will your eardrums maim (forever)
Land of the darkest leather.
Land of the brutal weather.
Land where mosquitoes gather, Finland the Brave.

Land of fans of McGyver
Hockey players, F1 drivers,
Soldiers and combat flyers, Finland the Brave.
Land of the council housing
Drunken parties and carousing
Dirty words on songs that you sing, Finland the Brave

Used to say in foregone day,
You could hear kantele play,
But now you hear the songs of Lordi, HIM and Children (of Bodom)
Land that is full o' stinkers,
Godless b*stards and freethinkers
Vodka puts a lot of drinkers, into Finnish graves.

Land of laws made by nannies
Statesmen with tricks uncanny
Land where they sell their grannies, Finland the Brave.
Land of conscription army
Moonshine and indoors farming
Suicide and self-harming, Finland the Brave.

Snow on ground for half a year
Frost will freeze your nose and ear
Winds of Shrieking Sixties make you think your end is near (for certain)
Never mind - the day is near,
when global warming will be here!
We'll drink a toast of Finnish beer to Finland the Brave!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - May 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Wonderful and accurate-555!!! After the German soldier the Finnish was IMO the toughest and second best aces. The tough Soviets had superiority in men and machines which gave them a strategic advantage but both the Germans and Finns fought them tenaciously with what they had. Also, a Finn with a Suomi gave the Soviets lots of trouble ;-D
Susanna Viljanen - May 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Rob, I wish we Finns would be one day remembered also from something else than military prowess - or being geeky and technologically adept. While that is history and while we are proud of it, it is also somewhat sad history, and the flip side of the military prowess is also being prone to violent behaviour. You might have read of the recent Hyvinkää shootings. Only the fact that the shooter was drunk and it was rainy night, prevented further casualties. While my parody was somewhat ironic, this still is my country and my nation.
AFW - May 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Fine Anthem to your land...from start to Finnish
Rob Arndt - May 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Susanna, I need to write a parody over the WW2 Finnish annoyance with the German Bf 109 and also the German 2 point landings instead of 3. And whereas the Finns preferred hit and run tactics against the Soviets, the Germans relied on tech and did full-frontal attacks even when outnumbered 2:1. Finns made great soldiers but were more practical and tactical than the German soldier and ferocious Waffen SS that held little regard for life (relying on intense training backed by fanatical ideology).
Patrick - May 30, 2012 - Report this comment
A wonderful tribute to a land that fascinates me. How many countries allow private ownership of anti-tank guns, just in case the Russians get greedy again? The Finns have a reputation for hard drinking and suicidal depression. The Irish are also known for drinking, but their military prowess seemed to consist mostly of planting bombs under other Irishmen. I liked the line about songs filled with "dirty" words. In English, we call these "four letter words", since the primary utterances are mostly four letters long. I would imagine that in Finnish these would be somewhat longer, with lots of umlauts.

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