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Song Parodies -> "Risks of Teaching Now Turned Ugly"

Original Song Title:

"Battle Hymn of the Republic"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Risks of Teaching Now Turned Ugly"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

My warped version of yesterday's parody... dedicated to Rebekah Dub :)
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the torching of the school
We have murdered all the teachers, in ways that are far too cruel
We horse-whipped the principal and hung that f--ked-up fool
Rage on, students, rage on

Gory, gory, Oh hell-yeah!!!
Such evil minds want to kill ya
Call 911, they can’t help ya
Rage on, students, rage on

We force-stripped the counselors and made them f--k themselves,
The Librarians' brains are splattered all over the book shelves,
PE teacher suffered wounds detrimental to his health,
Rage on, students, rage on

Gory, gory, Oh hell-yeah!!!
Such evil minds want to kill ya
Call 911, they can’t help ya
Rage on, students, rage on

In halls covered in blood is where they were caught surprised,
No longer filled with laughter, only screams and “PLEASE HELP!” cries
We slashed them and dismembered them… that is where they died
Rage on, students, rage on

Gory, gory, Oh hell-yeah!!!
Such evil minds want to kill ya
Call 911, they can’t help ya
Rage on, students, rage on

Gory, gory, Oh hell-yeah!!!
Such evil minds want to kill ya
Call 911, they can’t help ya
Rage on, students, rage on

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - November 02, 2011 - Report this comment
In my day, the worst we could do to the Principal was to "bop her on the bean with a rotten tangerine". Things are getting rougher out there in education land.
Sheila M - November 02, 2011 - Report this comment
Back in my time the worst that happened was that a teen threw a teacher out the window. Yeah, it was on the ground level up about three feet! And then there were the vandalism things all students do with graffiti, scratching teachers' cars with keys, and so on. But today you can get killed in school whether a teacher or a student which is tragic. And what is really gross is all the older female teachers having sex with young boys- the whole Cougar thing. Yuck!!! Bad enough when it was male teachers only and slutty girls. Now the men have sex with boys like they were Catholic priests or something! School is a dangerous place. Glad I'm out!
Dylan Baranski - November 02, 2011 - Report this comment
Speaking of "rage", I could totally imagine Rage Against the Machine singing this one. And I do agree with Sheila on a certain level. Back when I was in grade school, nothing extremely bad happened. Sure, there was a phys. ed teacher who once threw a chair in an angry outburst, some fights (I nearly got kicked out once because of a grudge with some kid, too), a couple of fake bomb threats and some kids getting busted for possession of drugs, but it was pretty safe compared to what's presented in this parody. Yeah, a couple of years ago, my youngest brother threw a pencil or a book (can't remember which) at a teacher & the teacher called the cops on him! Man, I'm lucky I graduated when I did.
Rebekah Dub - November 02, 2011 - Report this comment
Rob -- Thanks for a wonderful dedication and a hilarious parody you dedicated for me. It brightened up my day.
Rob Arndt - November 02, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks all... sorry I was late today- spent it in the ER and I don't have a laptop!!! NP Rebekah, I just revised the other parody to be more graphic!!! I'm sure in your job school isn't THAT bad ;-D
Rebekah Dub - December 14, 2011 - Report this comment
I'm late in commenting, sorry. Yeah, it depends on the atmosphere of the school that I'm at. Some are better than others.

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