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Song Parodies -> "If Bettie Page Were Nose Art"
Original Song Title:
"I Am So Very, Very Smart"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"If Bettie Page Were Nose Art"
Parody Written by:
Robert D. Arndt Jr.
The Lyrics
“Bettie Page” was the “Queen of all pin-ups”. Although she may have missed World War II by a decade, I have always wondered what the 1940s USAAF bomber crews would have dreamt up for Bettie to grace their formidable noses. Here is a “what if” parody and artwork by John P. Thompson (below link)...
If Bettie Page were nose art
In World War II- which plane?
B-17 or B-24?
Which would bear her name?
What would she be wearing?
Would she be nude or clad?
How about riding a large bomb?
Wrapped in the flag wouldn’t be all that bad!
The pilots and the crew
Would all look up and see
The beauty of America
Defending good Ol’ Democracy!
Now the Luftwaffe wouldn’t like it
American indecency
They much prefer their Runes of War
On their Bf 109Gs
All the bombers they shot down
Were examined along with the art
They scrapped the fuselages
But the girls stole German hearts
Bettie Page need not be a Valkyrie
To make the Germans blush
The bombshell herself in art
Would draw them in to be crushed
(dorsal and waist gunners finish them off)
If Bettie Page were nose art
In World War II- which plane?
B-29 or B-32?
Which would bear her name?
What would she be wearing?
Would she be nude or clad?
How about riding a large bomb?
Wrapped in the flag wouldn’t be all that bad!
The pilots and the crew
Would all look up and see
The beauty of America
Defending good Ol’ Democracy!
Now the IJN wouldn’t like it
American indecency
They much prefer their Rising Sun
For their Kamikazes
All the bombers they shot down
Were examined along with the art
They scrapped the fuselages
But the girls stole Jap hearts
Now Bettie page grew-up postwar
And never graced a warplane
In fact nose-art became banned
Oh Damn! What a shame!!!
In World War II- which plane?
B-17 or B-24?
Which would bear her name?
What would she be wearing?
Would she be nude or clad?
How about riding a large bomb?
Wrapped in the flag wouldn’t be all that bad!
The pilots and the crew
Would all look up and see
The beauty of America
Defending good Ol’ Democracy!
Now the Luftwaffe wouldn’t like it
American indecency
They much prefer their Runes of War
On their Bf 109Gs
All the bombers they shot down
Were examined along with the art
They scrapped the fuselages
But the girls stole German hearts
Bettie Page need not be a Valkyrie
To make the Germans blush
The bombshell herself in art
Would draw them in to be crushed
(dorsal and waist gunners finish them off)
If Bettie Page were nose art
In World War II- which plane?
B-29 or B-32?
Which would bear her name?
What would she be wearing?
Would she be nude or clad?
How about riding a large bomb?
Wrapped in the flag wouldn’t be all that bad!
The pilots and the crew
Would all look up and see
The beauty of America
Defending good Ol’ Democracy!
Now the IJN wouldn’t like it
American indecency
They much prefer their Rising Sun
For their Kamikazes
All the bombers they shot down
Were examined along with the art
They scrapped the fuselages
But the girls stole Jap hearts
Now Bettie page grew-up postwar
And never graced a warplane
In fact nose-art became banned
Oh Damn! What a shame!!!
http://rareaircraf1.greyfalcon.us/picture/air5.jpg
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User Comments
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Interesting theme...I liked Miss Page, just for her intellect, of course
Which plane? If she'd been around then, I think the answer would be "all of them."
I used B-17s and 24s as heavies for the ETO and B-29s and 32s as heavies for the PTO. And actually, No... USAAF nose art tended to be originals, not duplicates. They had plenty of pin-up girls but most girlie art was original just like the names given to each aircraft. A friend of mine flew the B-24 "Do-Bunny" based on their wax rabbit luck charm. When it finally melted down, a clean-up crew threw it out. Next mission, the plane went down! My fave nose art is from B-24 "Blonde Bomber II":
http://rareaircraf1.greyfalcon.us/picturesq/a99.jpg
Betty Grable nose art on "Sentimental Journey":
http://www.air-and-space.com/20050506%20Fox/DSC_0257%20B-17G%20N9323Z%20Sentimental%20Journey%20left%20side%20nose%20art%20l.jpg
There was a B-32???
The B-32 Dominator was the last bomber used over the Pacific and was the last attacked 3 days AFTER VJ-Day!!!
http://www.irandefence.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=52525&d=1267540433
It's too bad that military aircraft nose art is considered politically incorrect and in bad taste now that women have joined the ranks and the US operates air bases in Arab nations. World War II nose art is by far the very best, but was considered too decadent for the Japanese and Germans. Worst was Russian aircraft. Those poor bastards could only write political statements... how uninspiring.
Who could "Miss" a "Ms." flying on a "Missile?" ;-D Nice Job Rob! 555! :-)
She's a knock-out, but a 50s girl!!! Still, would grace a WW2 bomber nose with style and elegance. Plus 555 lb bombshell!!!
When I was 10 me, my sister and my parents went to Wright Patterson AFB museum (where the treaty ending the Bosnia War was signed). I learned a new word that day - there's a WW2 bomber there with nose art. The girl is a redhead, she's a "Strawberry B*tch. My mom said, "Don't say that! Don't say that!" ; )
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