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Song Parodies -> "J-A-N-G-O"

Original Song Title:

"B-I-N-G-O"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"J-A-N-G-O"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

About a decade prior to the outbreak of the Clone Wars, a man named Tyranus approached Jango on the moons of Bogden with an intriguing proposal. In exchange for a sizable fee, Jango would become the template of a clone army. Fett agreed, but with an unusual stipulation in his contract. In addition to his fee, he would be awarded an unaltered clone of himself. Unlike his other duplicates, this clone would not undergo growth acceleration or docility tampering. It would be a pure replica of Jango. The Kaminoans provided Fett with private accommodations in their hermetic Tipoca City, and Jango dropped out of the bounty hunting limelight. He concentrated on teaching his son, the unaltered clone he named Boba, the ropes of survival and combat while the Kaminoans extracted genetic material to build thousands of clone soldiers. While serving as Tyranus' enforcer, Jango was approached by Viceroy Nute Gunray of the Trade Federation. Gunray wanted to eliminate Senator Padmé Amidala, who had long been a thorn in the Viceroy's side. Fett subcontracted the job to an assassin named Zam Wesell, and armed her with poisonous kouhuns to finish the job. A pair of meddling Jedi got in the way of the hit, and Jango was forced to kill Zam lest the trail lead back to him. Fett hadn't counted, though, on the resourcefulness of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Jango had used an exotic weapon, a Kamino saberdart, to eliminate Zam. No one should have been able to trace that weapon back to its source, but Obi-Wan's underworld contacts were able to point him in the right direction. Kenobi arrived on Kamino, and learned of the clone army. He met Jango, and the two had a tense, yet civil, discussion, neither revealing their true motives. Fett nonetheless decided to flee, and ordered Boba to gather their belongings. Kenobi, working on orders from the Jedi Council, attempted to apprehend Jango just prior to Slave I's lift-off, which led to a water-logged melee atop the rain-swept landing platforms of Tipoca City. Jango escaped aboard the Slave I, and he and his son journeyed to Geonosis, to reunite with their mysterious benefactor, Lord Tyranus. En route to Geonosis, Jango and Boba realized a homing beacon was placed aboard their vessel, and found a pursuing Jedi starfighter on their tracking screens. The tenacious Obi-Wan Kenobi was back, and a daring game of cat and mouse played out among the rocky debris of the Geonosian rings. Despite the barrage of Slave I's seismic charges, laser cannons and missiles attacks, Obi-Wan survived and continued shadowing the Fetts as they arrived on the barren planet's surface. Kenobi and his compatriots were captured on Geonosis, which was revealed to be a Separatist stronghold. They were to be executed in grand Geonosian fashion, but their deaths were stalled by the sudden arrival of Jedi reinforcements. Tasked with protecting Lord Tyranus, Jango entered the fray against the Jedi. His blaster skills killed several Jedi, but Jango was not quite prepared to face off against Jedi Master Mace Windu. Windu did not break stride as he deflected Jango's incoming blasts and swiftly cleaved off the hunter's head with a single stroke of his luminescent blade. Jango's battle-dented helm bounced along the dusty ground of the Geonosian arena, to be picked up by a stunned and newly orphaned Boba Fett.
There was a soldier who served as a template,
And Jango was his name-o
J-A-N-G-O
J-A-N-G-O
J-A-N-G-O
And Jango was his name-o

He also was a Mandalore Commando,
And Jango was his name-o
(clap)-A-N-G-O
(clap)-A-N-G-O
(clap)-A-N-G-O
And Jango was his name-o

There was a soldier who served as a template,
And Jango was his name-o
(clap)-(clap)-N-G-O
(clap)-(clap)-N-G-O
(clap)-(clap)-N-G-O
And Jango was his name-o

He also was a Mandalore Commando,
And Jango was his name-o
(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-G-O
(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-G-O
(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-G-O
And Jango was his name-o.

There was a soldier who served as a template,
And Jango was his name-o
(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-O
(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-O
(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-O
And Jango was his name-o.

He also was a Mandalore Commando,
And Jango was his name-o
(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-(clap)
(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-(clap)
(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-(clap)-(clap)
Lost his head to Mace Windu!!!

http://images.wikia.com/starwars/images/0/05/Jangoclones.jpg

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
 1
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 4   0
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 5   12
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

WCJ - August 10, 2011 - Report this comment
Looks like they plan to make a GANG-O with JANG-O! ;-D Excellent Job Rob! :-)
Patrick - August 10, 2011 - Report this comment
The Star Wars plot twists and characters started getting more complicated than my simple brain could handle. But, as you know, I can certainly appreciate anyone who knows how to clone an army.
Michael Pacholek - August 10, 2011 - Report this comment
Well, it was easy to clone him once he lost his finger, but he still became a pretty good guitarist -- wait, wrong Django.
Rob Arndt - August 10, 2011 - Report this comment
Patrick, you do realize that in an original interview with Steranko in the May 1980 issue of Mediascene Prevue that Star Wars was originally called "The Journal of the Whills" and was to be 12 installments? In that early version Boba Fett was a Mandalore Commnado and the Mandalores as mercenaries had fought the Jedis in the Clone War- they were however, NOT the origin of the Clone Army! Lucas changed that with Jango Fett which was a disappointment to me. In my independent SW novels MY Mandalore Commando Rova Ferat is used by the Dark Lord to crush the Outer Rim rebellion. He carries the U-shaped deflecto staff depicted in early SW art to fight against the light sabre and also carries a custom Firescar pulse rifle.
Ausfahrt - August 10, 2011 - Report this comment
not great but ok i guess
Rob Arndt - August 10, 2011 - Report this comment
True as there are only so many variations on the 5-letter OS "B-I-N-G-O". But I try for something for everyone as far as topics go. So far I have done DINGO, LINGO, OSLO, TEPCO, and JANGO!!!
Michael Pacholek - August 11, 2011 - Report this comment
It could be worse, Rob. At least BINGO has 5 letters. YMCA has only 4. (But Anakin McFly's "Y-O-D-A" was a stroke of genius.)

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