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Song Parodies -> "Lockout Will End Any Day"

Original Song Title:

"Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Lockout Will End Any Day"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

As the N.F.L. lockout nears resolution, America's professional football fans breathe a collective sigh of relief. Here in greater Cincinnati, however, Christmas In July equates this news with a dentist saying "Open wide. This isn't going to hurt a bit!". BTW, Felix Mendelssohn composed this tune as part of a cantata commemorating the invention of printing. He believed that the melody was too fast and lively to be used for sacred music. ;D



Lockout will end any day.
Football heroes soon will play.
Long both sides stood far apart -
Now they'll let the season start.
Smashing hits on turf and grass!
Clever draw play! Forward pass!
Thirty-one good teams to view -
But Cincinnati's in the stew.
Cincy's fans are out of luck
For once again the Bengals suck.

Bad news? There's a lot of it.
Carson Palmer says he'll quit.
No more offers to be made -
He'll retire if there's no trade.
Wrapped in braces, tape, and gauze -
Spirit crushed in this lost cause,
Somewhere else he'll call the plays.
He's had enough of Mike Brown's ways.
From the owner all faults stem -
Brown will not hire a real G.M.!

In this culture of defeat
Bengal players fill the rap sheet.
Cedric Benson seems all right -
Now he's been jailed for a fight.
Breaking news - so hold the phones:
Guess who's busted? Pacman Jones!
He claims that he did no crime.
What does this make? His seventh time?
Fans are tired of all this jazz.
Is this a team or Alcatraz?

Famed free agents will depart.
Some have had a big headstart.
No more Chad and no T.O. -
They've teamed for a T.V. show.
T.O.'s washed up - don't feel down.
Ochocinco's a damned clown!
As the Bengals scrape and starve
Brown has a plan: He'll sign Brett Favre!
Cheer for football time is here.
Just let the Bengals skip this year.



Bengal supporters are not so much fans as hostages! ;D

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Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

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User Comments

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John Barry - July 22, 2011 - Report this comment
"The NFL, a money-laundering operation for the Mob."--Dave Meggysey, former player and author of "Out of Their League."

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