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Song Parodies -> "Tess Tossed Her Own"

Original Song Title:

"Green Grow The Lilacs"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Tess Tossed Her Own"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Tess was a dancer at Sam's Nudie Bar
Always the favorite, and a highly paid star
One statuesque beauty, but just look, don't touch
Sam was her man, anger managed? Not much..

Sometimes she wore feathers, sometimes she wore fur
But there underneath, you knew it was all her
Honky tonk music piano'd the room
Drumbeats backgrounded her bump and grind boom

Ohhhh...Tess tossed her own, never fooled with implants
It was always all her you could see in her dance
Most all other ladies displayed silicone,
But not sweet Teresa, no,Tess tossed her own..

One night a stranger swung in thru the doors
Had too much to drink, said to Tess.."Hey, I'm yours.."
Sam's pistol went, "Bam!!" thru' his chest, hole was blown
Ricocheted off a rib, Tess would fall with a moan..

Everyone froze as a hush filled the room
The honky tonk music stopped, no drums went boom
Sam rushed to her side, she was pale, cold as stone
Her dying words unttered were, "I tossed my own..."

Yess...Tess tossed her own, and displayed triple "D's"
She'd say, "Don't look at those, keep your eyes peeled on these"
Sam closed the Nudie Bar, now dusty, it's grown
Nights men swear they still see Tess toss her own...

Ohhhh...Tess tossed her own, you could tell at a glance
It was always all her that you saw in her dance
Tho' most other ladies displayed silicone,
Not sweet Teresa, no,Tess tossed her own..

Not sweet Teresa, no, Tess tossed her own..

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Patrick - April 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Nice play on words with the title.
Old Man Ribber - April 21, 2011 - Report this comment
AFW - Great title and song. I was the chief biochemist at Sam's for years. I really knew how to make a "hormone". ;D
Rob Arndt - April 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Well Done!!! Triple Nickles on this one!!!
WarrenB - April 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Very good melodrama au natural. You may want to pitch this to Lifetime's movie channel.
AFW - April 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, Guys...for the v&c

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