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Song Parodies -> "Sheen's Addled Hymn To The Real Public"

Original Song Title:

"Battle Hymn Of The Republic"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Sheen's Addled Hymn To The Real Public"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

I know I'm a bit late to the table with this one, but as Charlie is continuing to act like a loon, it's still timely....
My name is Carlos Estevez, and this is how I roll
To go out with guns a-blazin’ is my one and only goal
And it seems that I have dug myself one massive f***in’ hole,
But heck, I’m having FUN!

Charlie Charlie, hallelujah!
Drugs have made me quite peculiah
Now, I think I oughtta school ya
About the art of FUN!

Life’s a bitch when you’re a filthy rich, yet somewhat faded star
But I’ve heard that even Lindsey Lohan thinks I’ve gone too far
Still, at least I’ve got my sanity: I keep it in a jar
And I’m sure having FUN!

Charlie Charlie isn’t manic
I’m ship-shape like the Titanic
Why’s my agent in a panic?
He needs to have more FUN!

I’m a cool, bi-winning alien, unlikely to abstain
Unlike other rehab rejects, I’m not into guilt or shame
Man, if Tiger Woods had tiger blood, he wouldn’t be so lame
And he would be more FUN!

Charlie Charlie, King of Clinics
Screw the sad-sacks and the cynics
Tough Love’s just another gimmick
And doesn’t sound like FUN!

Everyone in Hollywood knows I’m a playah in this town
But those jealous dicks at CBS are try’n to take me down
Bet they’ve never had an orgy with ten hookers and a clown
They’ve missed out on the FUN!

Charlie Charlie, unemploy-ed
Coz their sitcom, I destroy-ed
One and one half men annoy-ed
Screw them! Rebellion’s FUN!

If one day I give up talkin’ sh*t and partyin’ with hoes
I could be like those magicians that you see in Vegas shows
I have made a million dollars disappear right up my nose
Ab-ra-ca-da-bra FUN!

Charlie Charlie, pale and sweaty
On a rooftop with machete
If policemen come to get me,
Please call my lawyer, hun…

I should leave my corpse to science, but I’m thinkin’ “What the hell!”
I’ll bequeath my organs to a South American cartel
They can grind them into powder, which to junkies they could sell
My legacy lives ON!

Charlie Charlie, where’s the cocaine?
I’ll keep snorting ‘til I’ve no brain
But I won’t check out like Cobain
I’ll go down having FUN!

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - March 15, 2011 - Report this comment
I love Charlie Sheen. He's the only celebrity worth following because he's so freaking crazy you don't know what he's going to do or say next!
Phil Alexander - March 15, 2011 - Report this comment
:-)

..or even %-p
AFW - March 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Good to see ya' back, Kristof...sums up the Sheen" very well
Peter Andersson - March 15, 2011 - Report this comment
If I had a woman like Bree Olsen I'd be having fun al the time too...
Michael Pacholek - March 15, 2011 - Report this comment
This was twice as much fun as "Two and a Half Men." And what's twice two and a half? Five.
Old Man Ribber - March 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Kristof - (I'm sorry. I apologize in advance. I can't help myself. I have to say it.) In a word...WIN-NING!!! ;D
John Barry - March 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Title o' the day! Charlies gone to far este vez (this time).
Kristof Robertson - March 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Thak you all for your votes and kind comments. Sorry I haven't been around much, and have not had time to read your work- I'm off home to Australia on Friday, and hope to hang around Amiright more on my return. Muchos Gracias!
WarrenB - March 16, 2011 - Report this comment
I couldn't stop laughing. One of the best from Tuesday's crop of parodies
Wendy Christopher - May 11, 2011 - Report this comment
Hello again Kristof - after such a long time, it's great to see you back! And in such impeccable style - definitely worth at least a 555. Off to Australia again, eh? Ahhh, you lucky thing... jealous, me? Now why would I be jealous, when the UK has such lovely.. um, rain, recession and a crap government? Okay then, I'm jealous! :^)
Stuart McArthur - February 28, 2012 - Report this comment
Too many funny lines or what was it again? TMGLTM but I loved the Lindsay Lohan line and "One and one half men annoy-ed" best. ah, it's great to start the day with a laugh. Keep em coming Kristof!
TJC - October 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Perfection, Dr. K! You haven't lost a step. Gets me longing for the site's old days (sniff...)

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