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Song Parodies -> "The Battle Hymn of the On-line Debater"

Original Song Title:

"The Battle Hymn of the Republic"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"The Battle Hymn of the On-line Debater"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

One of my favourite cartoons: Duty Calls.
I get wound up debating with some brainless little twit
With a zero grasp of logic and of science, not a whit
And of evolution'ry theory, he doesn't know jack shit
Yet still he witters on

He's a hypocritic, narcissistic, disingenuous sort
Who refuses to accept the slightest scientific thought
No point in trying to teach him as he don't want to be taught
Yet still he witters on

Glory, glory, such frustration
From his cretinish creation,
Blinkered sight and obfuscation
Yet still he witters on


Then, there's another wretched chap who keeps demanding PROOF
(In capital letters, too), he's terribly uncouth
Yet ask him for his evidence, he's vanished with a "poof!"
And still completely wrong

Says anthropogenic-al global warming's all a lie
And the climate's not affected by CO2 in the sky
But he's oh, so *very* stupid, he ain't worth a nice reply
And still completely wrong

Glory, glory, such frustration
From his ceaseless aggravation
And his lack of information
He's still completely wrong


You may be wond'ring why, if I'm annoyed by all this shit
That I go to online fora and debate a little bit
But it's wonderfully cathartic, and I don't think I could quit
Proving these guys wrong

So if the fancy takes you and you want to get your kicks
Typing on an online forum, mass debating with those pricks
Keep in mind XKCD.com/386
Especially if he's wrong

Glory, glory, such frustration
Increasing exasperation
Someone needs some education
'Cause someone's ****ing wrong!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - March 10, 2011 - Report this comment
Phil - No debate here...this is wonderful! I need no further proof or supporting evidence of your prowess. ;D
Amirightorwrong - March 10, 2011 - Report this comment
The beauty of anthropogenic global warming is that by the time it's proven one way or the other, most of us will already be dead and therefore unaffected by a Gore predicted 20 foot rise in the ocean. On the other hand, we will definitely be here to see if this country will survive a multi-trillion, and growing, debt load.
Cheka Man - March 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Hillarious!
Nick - March 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Nice one, Phil! I'll let them know at TH!

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