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Song Parodies -> "Wanker Wonderland"
Original Song Title:
"Winter Wonderland"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Wanker Wonderland"
Parody Written by:
Rod Worden
The Lyrics
Those of you familiar with the British word 'wanker' already know how exquisite the moniker is. Weaker U S expressions 'jerk-off', 'screw-off', or 'slacker' somehow fall short. In the British tv comedy "The Office", Ricky Gervais' David Brent was a complete wanker, as is Steve Carell's Michael Scott in the U S version. Today's financial, political, and media worlds are of course stuffed with wankers, and --surprise!-- things are Messed Up. On the air and everywhere, we are indeed living in a wanker wonderland..
Prices soared, homes were booming
But off-shored-- jobs left, dooming
A buy at the height,
--We're busted tonight--
Living in a wanker wonderland
Gone away are the paychecks
Here to stay are the trainwrecks
We hear the sweet tunes
From gas-bag buffoons
Living in a wanker wonderland
In our pup tent we can suck down home brews
And remember money broker Brown--
And his no-down loan that brought the bad news
That sent us to the street in our home town
Later on we inquire
How our dream so backfired
We followed the rules
We're feelin' like fools
Living in a wanker wonderland
[ Instr break: sticks tapping smoldering trash barrell ]
On the tv boneheads yap "It's better!"
And pretend that jobs are everywhere
They have lots of fun with that dead letter--
While seniors' Wal-Mart greetings fill the air!
Upbeat news, laughs and quipping
--While your ass gets a whipping--
They'll frolic and play 'till we go away
Living in a wanker wonderland, (oooh..)
Living in a wanker wonderland, (yeah..)
Living in a wanker wonderland! (splat.)
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Great stuff. Not all that familiar with the UK's financial or political situations, but we in the US, do indeed, have our share of wankers..in the government, and everywhere else.
Thanks AFW. I guess the opening comments might suggest I'm in the UK, but not so. This was written about the U S.
Politicians are the same around the world. In fact, I think they all belong to the same club. When they go to war, the blow up peasants like us, but it's off limits to go after the other country's leaders. I like your image of keeping warm by a burning barrel of wood. That will last until the environmentalists come by and put out the fire that is "polluting" Mother Gaia.
As a U.S.-based Arsenal fan (I really, really want to smack Man United tonight), I'm well aware of the uses of the word. The sad part is, if you call just about any American a wanker, he won't know what it means! The tosser.
Patrick: Thanks, and good observation! It's a FINE club, and of course we pay the dues.
Michael: You're right, for he may also be a f**kwit, who according to Jon Fuller, is "a person who is not only lacking in clue but is apparently unable or unwilling to acquire clue even when handed it on a plate in generous portions."
Michael: You're right, for he may also be a f**kwit, who according to Jon Fuller, is "a person who is not only lacking in clue but is apparently unable or unwilling to acquire clue even when handed it on a plate in generous portions."
My sister, who's been to England herself with some youth learn language organisation program I don't remember the name of, once told me this story about a Swede lost in London who was stopped by a policeman and asked what he was doing - and stressed out by the situation he coined the swenglish phrase "I'm just wanking around" (the Swedish word "vanka" is slang for "walking around aimlessly"). I hope he returned to Sweden, from your song I'm guessing you have enough people wanking around as it is...
Thanks, Peter, good story. I'm certain that here in the U S we have more "vankas" per capita than anywhere else.
The UK is definitely a wanker wonderland under David Cameron and his gofer Nick Clegg.
This is great! All 5s. Best line - "How our dream so backfired"
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