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Song Parodies -> "Wackjobs Itching For An 'Open Fire'"

Original Song Title:

"Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Wackjobs Itching For An 'Open Fire'"

Parody Written by:

Rod Worden

The Lyrics

Enough is enough, the TSA is out of control. Opt out of the "Don't worry, the radiation is harmless" naked body scanner and either submit to a full-on, down-the-pants genital grope or an eleven thousand dollar fine. Stand idly by while some clown intimately gropes you and/or your wife/family?? This is madness.
Wackjobs itching for an 'open fire'
Stuff lost stripping off your clothes
Goons' gun barrels, 'shut your mouth' they require
And folks stacked up like dominoes..

Everybody knows a turkey with some gun to show
Helps to make a scene uptight
Tiny brains, beady eyes all aglow
Will find some one to feel tonight

They know that fliers have no say
Moronic rules, loud-shouting boneheads to obey
And every little child will wonder why
They feel a stranger's grabby hands up their thigh..

And so I'm leaving all this madness crazed
No x-rays, T S A for me
Although it may take often times several days
Take a slow train, live free!
--Looking forward to seeing some of the country through the window of a train until some common sense returns to airport security.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - November 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Love trains. They don't go anywhere, anymore. Schedules are so limited even TSA doesn't know where they are. But the union can hardly wait to put its Gropestapo agents into little depots at 3:00 am all over the country. Some fool stuck a little bomb in his shorts, not to knock down the plane, but to create a pretext for the mass sexual assault on American travelers. I've got a few ideas for the next glory seeking jihadist who is willing to wait out his life in a fedpen before he goes to his 70 Virginians or whatever awaits. But I ain't going to tell them.
Rod - November 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Patrick. I agree with your observations. It's all about creation of fear, providing a "solution", (control), and ultimately, tyranny. The majority of people in this country have no clue how far we have fallen, and are falling, into a police state. A nation of sheep, being led to slaughter.
Rod - November 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey viewer #25, thanks for the 1s! Glad u cared enough to vote. And the next time you go thru airport security and are being firmly probed in the rear by an agent, may you glance over at each shoulder being held and notice that the two hands securing you belong to that same agent.
John Barry - November 22, 2010 - Report this comment
I feel that I should give you 5s.
Claude Prez - November 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey, long time no see! I could not agree more with this; bunch of power trippin government dickheads is what they are. I should know, I work for the postal service. But at least we only grope your mail and stuff. Anyway, good parody; the "folks stacked up like dominoes" line was my fave.
The TSA - November 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Mr Barry: Your feeling is appreciated, but please leave that to us. Mr Prez: "Power trippin govt dickheads"? Did you know our x-ray machines have squirrel knobs that can vary the amt of radiation we zap you with? Flying soon?
Larry R. - December 19, 2010 - Report this comment
I like it...I like that you can make fun and still make sense. Humorizing a serious subject is a delicate art...good job.

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