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Song Parodies -> "This Old Can"

Original Song Title:

"This Old Man"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"This Old Can"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This old can, it's been there
Spraddled in most every chair,
With a flip flop, bottom drop,
All, but on a throne..
This old can's worn to the bone

This old can's deep sea dived,
Hem'rroidectomy survived
With a snip, snip, itchy stitch,
Recover-y groan..
This old can could use a clone

This old can's battle scarred,
Increased, decreased, gained, lost lard
Been thru two wars, hit the floors,
From a bigger fist,
This old can has made the list

This old can's marked a bit,
Weird tatoo inscribed on it
Of a bullseye, cheeky high
Novelty, when shone..
This old can is quite well known

This old can's done hard toils,
Through the's popped some boils
Fought a sea gale, caught a whale,
Called a gambler's bluff..
This old can has played it rough

This old can droops and sags
Like a cowboy's saddle bags
Or an old shoe, kangaroo,
Cellulite that sways..
This old can's seen better days

This old can's broke a bronc
Once, got sprayed on by a "skonk"
Froze in wint-ers, wood splint-ers
Surgically removed
But to it I'm still behooved

This old can's through the mill,
Past it's prime, over the hill
But it's pressed "Abes" jumped some babes
Let me tell ya', friend,
This old can has stirred the blend

This old can's veiny blue
Pimply, and hairy, too
Not a real tight, pretty sight,
Like some lifeguard crews
This old can's just good for poos.

This old can's out of blaze,
It has seen it's better days,
Told the "Mortish", 'bout my wish
With the final crash,
This old can will be an ash..

This old can will be an ash

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   8

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
AFW - Great as usual. How about a sequel...maybe a Stevie Nicks parody Stop Dragging My Can Around? ;D
Mark Scotti - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Loved this 'kick" of the can!! I have my own 'can" song out tomorrow...
John Barry - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Very clever the way you finished it.
LadyCanCakes - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
. . . Absolutely 'ash' tonishing, Sir l"AIR de Farce, Mighty Duke oEdge, The King oAsh ! ! you've really 'canned' this one, Sir ! ! . . . better than a Cowboy's can oPeaches ! . . . but may i inquire as to what you meant by 'Abes', Sir ? ? Abe Lincoln ? ?
Patrick - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Very funny. Does it seem that all the folks who write here are in the "later" years? I like your take on a life well lived.
Barry J. Mitchel - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
An "excrement" parody to "end" all "fartsical" parodies! An eschatological "epuntaph" when you're "moribunned" (not soon, I hope). Congrats on avoiding "Here I sit, broken-hearted ..." type humor. Here's my "plug" for you -- 555.
AFW - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, OMR good idea, there...and thanks, Mark, I'll be lookin' for it....thanks, John...and thanks, Dear LCC...thought you might have caught it from some of my other sub-mitts..I've used it, as well as, "Jacksons"..and "Grants"...yes, "Abes" are five dollar bills, referring, of course, to Abe Lincoln....and thanks, Patrick..I guess a few of us over 21...and thanks, Barry...good puns
LittleLOGcakes - September 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Ohhh, I thougt you meant ~Lincoln Logs~ the kind we played with to build things, Sir .

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