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Song Parodies -> "Scottish Cuisine"

Original Song Title:

"Scotland the Brave"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Scottish Cuisine"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

I had a lady friend who was fond of fancy (and pricey) ethnic restaurants. One evening I said "Let's go to that Scottish place I just heard about. When I pulled up to the driveway speaker, she was not amused.
We've sampled German grub
We ate at an Irish pub
A long sandwich called a sub
Gyros from Greece
Creations gastronomic
New Age delights organic
As time goes by our dining options increase

We serve a melting pot
Foods our ancestors brought
Ingredients from every land on the earth
Fish from New Zealand river
A costly dish to savor
But thrifty Scots deliver
Your money's worth

Here comes the Clan McDonald
Led by a clown named Ronald
No, they're not sheetheads
That's a "clan" with a "c"
Ray Kroc, the franchise founder
Home of the Quarter Pounder
They've sold a zillion of them from sea to sea

Beneath the Golden Arch
Deep frying, salt and starch
With every sandwich comes an order of fries
Kid's meal with plastic prizes
Your choice of super sizes
Soon you will wear them on your
Belly and thighs

Cantina Mexicana
Pasta Italiana
"Survivor" flora-fauna
Vive French cuisine!
In China we can begin
With Szechuan and Mandarin
Thailand and Vietnam and Philippine

Beef from the Argentine
Served with the proper wine
Just can't compare with a Big Mac so nice
Looking for something classy?
Impress your lad or lassie
Go out for Scottish, you just
Can't beat the price.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - August 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Well, at least we now know the origin of Angus Beef! Aye, laddie...I'm lovin' it! ;D
2Eagle - August 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Apparantly you mean the figurative kind of Scottish rather than the literal. At first I thought this was going to be about haggis.
Patrick - August 23, 2010 - Report this comment
When you order haggis, at least you know what's in it.
Mark Scotti - August 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Yummmy...LOL and fivers. Check out my haggis: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/rodstewart45.shtml
Steve K. - August 23, 2010 - Report this comment
What a great way to celebrate our diversity - by eating it. By the way, those "clansmen" with a "c" did have some racial hate - for the English race, that is.
John Jenkins - August 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Clever concept, but I perceive the "Impress your lad or lassie" line to be very facetious.
Patrick - August 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Steve, the clansmen with a "c" also started the custom of burning crosses.
Thomas - September 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Hilarious, it made me laugh.

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