Wallets thinning 'cause crooks make plots at Christmas
Like the Grinch, they're low
They'll be looking at five to ten
If they get caught again
But can't refrain from silver chains or gold
Wallets thinning cause crooks take shots at Christmas
Toys of yours they score
It's the petty theft blight you see in the mall and on T.V.
They'll come back for more

But wear your steely-toed boots, pack a pistol that shoots
You can kick and shoot 'em again
Malls they will hawk and they'll pick in your pock-
-et, they hope you won't see them
But mom and dad will set them straight
When jewels they try to fence

We are winning when crooks we spot at Christmas
Be aware, you know
Now there were three got a rude farewell
Sent to a stark jail cell
The dirty kind that makes you whine with woe
Yes, we're winning when crooks get caught at Christmas
Fools; the crooks ain't smart
And the thing that will make them swing
Is the sheriff with a sting
Catch 'em in your car

A pair of prison stripe suits and a cellmate that toots
Are the gifts for Threepac and Slim
Snitches that talk and tasers that shock
For the dopes who fleece on a whim
And mom and dad will be irate
If they get robbed again
But we're winning when crooks get shot at Christmas
Goons, they will depart
And the thing that will make it fun
Is the barrel of your gun
Aiming at their heart

.