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Song Parodies -> "This Old Man"

Original Song Title:

"This Old Man"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"This Old Man"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This Old Man, he paid one
She played tic-tac on his bum
Lipsticked, paddle whacked,
Stroked the doggie bone
This Old Man went smilin' home

This Old Man, he paid two
They lashed him till he was blue
Whip whap, leather strap
Candles, oils, that shone
This Old Man went achy home

This Old Man, he paid three
Peeked in loo to watch one pee
Hugged one, rug burned one
When he turned to stone
This Old Man went happy home

This Old Man, he paid four
Three young babes, and one old whore
Lick-snack, fruit attack
Plus an ice cream cone
This Old Man went kinky home

This Old Man, he paid five
Huffed and puffed, and jived his jive
Up shack, back attack,
Escort service phoned
This Old Man could hold his own

This Old Man, he paid six
Circus girls who knew some tricks
Slim cats, acrobats
Up and down and prone
This Old Man went tumblin' home

This Old Man, he paid seven
Jill, June, Jan, Sue, Tess, Pam, Kevin
One dude, interlude
For variety..
This Old Man tried gay to see

This Old Man, he paid eight
After Kevin, gay got gate
Turn off, made him cough
Swore to leave alone
This Old Man went straight back home

This Old Man, he paid nine
Hunched up, backwards, hurt his spine
Click clack, heard a crack
Got up with a groan,
This Old Man went limpin' home

This Old Man, he paid ten
Orgied, but will not again,
Bad plaque, heart attack
Carved on his tombstone,
"This Old Man went happy, home"

"This Old Man went happy, home"

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

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alvin - October 08, 2008 - Report this comment's one to sing around the campfire, kids !
W O W - October 08, 2008 - Report this comment
pretty good for an Old Fart !
Ann Hammond - October 08, 2008 - Report this comment
he he
John Barry - October 08, 2008 - Report this comment
This is friggin' hilarious!!
AFW - October 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, all
PMS - October 09, 2008 - Report this comment
I have seen much of your work and I think this is one of the best. "Stroked the doggie bone" and "went straight back home" were my favorite lines.
unKnownVotrix - October 10, 2008 - Report this comment
I see the 'humps up' on this ole Man . . .
mart - October 14, 2008 - Report this comment
brilliant ....wonder what max mosley would make of it
Alpha Skua - December 06, 2017 - Report this comment
This old man he played 20,he played the slots and won lots of money,He.s now happy and you can see,Him and grandma in a SUV
Mr Pheasent - February 17, 2018 - Report this comment
Just as long as they dont make it Gender Neutral that would spoil everything

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