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Song Parodies -> "Wrote a Song in Past Tense"

Original Song Title:

"Sing a Song of Sixpence"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Wrote a Song in Past Tense"

Parody Written by:

Tim Mayfield

The Lyrics

Wrote a song in past tense
I made the readers scream
Didn't care what folks said
Was just a teen
Thought about the future
But didn't like the sound
When everybody taunted me
Should I have laughed or frowned?

The singing that I sung to you
Wasn't all that funny
The hatred that you harbored
Killed the Easter Bunny
So though you sought a pardon
Pushing out a load
The judge never bought it
The fun never slowed

Wrote a song with no sense
I didn't rhyme a thing
Took the liberty as well
Of breaking the pacing
The sonnet had no bonnet
And the poet had no pride
That is why the audience
Had all begun to hide

The penguins took my briefcase
Slapped me on the wrist
My lawyer took a year's wage
Left with empty fist
When I caught pneumonia
Died of hemorrhaging
Had to get my best friend
To finish this posting

The Sonics won the SuperBowl
That's why they played hockey
I never did as I was told
That's why I'd disc jockey
Laid down in the quagmire
Didn't feel a thing
But all of my extremities
Were tied with puppet string

Showed up in my absense
Teacher didn't care
Screamed at all their picnic games
All they did was stare
Never got a chicken wing
Nor pizza a la mode
Guess I never figured out
Their DaVinci code

Sat down on a park bench
Couldn't think no more
Not all that surprising
I died in stanza four
Took a shot at Liberty
My life hung in the Valance
Tried to pay the pauper
He took all of my talents

Wrote a lot of nonsense
Did perchance to read?
Did your rocker fall off?
Did you my warnings heed?
Taught this song to preschoolers
Who made a lot of money
But just like you, they never thought
That what I wrote was funny

Took a can of spraypaint
Tinted all my hair
Rented out a midget
Dressed up as a bear
Went to join the circus
They said I can not go
Cause the bear ate all my hair
Then bit Fran, Marge, and Flo

Could it be I lost my brain
'Tween verses one and two
And when I lost it went and took
My cousins to the zoo?
And though my brain was still missing
I saved the universe
And overthrew the evil schemes
Of my doctor's paperwork

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
 2
 1
 
 4   2
 0
 1
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Below Average Dave - August 04, 2008 - Report this comment
I think here you didn't get noticed simply because of lack of knowledge of TOS. . .I found it out there, but that said--very good job on this one Tim, the idea is creative and it shows you didn't lose a beat by being away as long as you were, welcome back!
Red Ant - August 04, 2008 - Report this comment
I don't remember TOS really, but this was a novel idea and clever execution. 555
Tim Mayfield - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks BADave and Red Ant. It's not all that sad that no one knows TOS. I actually kept switching over to Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in my head when I was penning this.

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