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Song Parodies -> "'Twas the Cinco de Mayo"

Original Song Title:

"'Twas the Night Before Christmas"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"'Twas the Cinco de Mayo"

Parody Written by:

Rich Lyons

The Lyrics

'Twas the Cinco de Mayo
And all through España
Chiquitas wore fruit hats
With lots of bananas
Sombreros were perched
On men's foreheads with care
In hopes that their shadows
Would block out the glare.

The children were gathered
To hit the piñatas
With visions of chilis
And piña coladas
While mama and papa
Enjoyed the fiesta
The kids settled down
For a daytime siesta

When out on the rancho
Arose such a clatter,
I dropped my maracas
To see what was the matter
Away to the meadow
I flew down the trail,
I reached for an udder
And threw down a pail

The milk on the breast
Of the overfed cow
Fed hundreds of people
And I don't know how,
When, what to my secular
Eyes should appear,
But a Catholic army
Inspiring fear.
With a little old leader,
Still only a kid-
I knew in a moment
He must be El Cid.
More rapid than eagles
His forces they came,
And he prayed to the saints
And called them by name:

"Now Peter! Now Paul!
Now, Mary and Anne!
St. James and St. Virgil!
St. Elmo, St. Francis!
To the top of the hill!
To the top of the plaza!
Now Ándale! Ándale!
Arriba la Raza!"

As the armada fell
To the British navy,
They sent some conquistadors
Over the sea
So out to the new world
The vessels they sailed,
And in the name of España
The armies prevailed.

And then, in a twinkling,
I heard just by chance
Of Mexico's fall to
Imperial France.
I was paying my taxes
When I heard a strange sound,
And a masked man named Zorro
Came with a bound.

He was dressed all in black
From his head to his foot,
And his sword was well-hidden
By where it was put.
A bundle of pesos
He had flung on his back,
And he went to the people
To give them all back.

His eyes--how they twinkled!
His dimples, caramba!
He was set to take back what
Was claimed by Columbus!
He had vengeful fires
Burning down in his soul,
And the moustache he wore
Was black as the coal.
The stump of a sword
He held tight in his hand,
And the sheathe was attached to
His leg by a band.
He had a broad stance
And a trademark, you see,
He left his opponents
With the mark of the Z.

He was lanky and tall,
A right jolly hombre
And I graciously thanked him
And told him my nombre.
A wink of his eye,
Like a crafty old vet-
He gave me a look
I would not soon forget.

He spoke not a word
But went straight to a trench,
And helped the republic
Get rid of the French.
And lifting his finger,
His men to a halt,
And giving a nod
To begin the assault-
He sprang to his feet,
To his troops gave an order
And the people they freed
From border to border
But I heard him exclaim
'Ere he rode out of sight,
"Liberación to all,
Mexico's free tonight!"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Fantastic story telling, comedy content, and an all around great job!
Ann Hammond - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment
I like this
John Barry - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Meriadoc - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment
A little disjointed, like an odd dream, but I liked that. Muy bein. Hay tres cincos para usted.
Arriba-LaBlanca - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Lyons, C'est magnifique, tres amusant, MonSieur ! Very good indeed, this should be sent to the ~La Raza~ organization! Fav Line: " A right Jolly Hombre, & I graciously thanked him, & gave him my nombre"! Ay Cohiba!
Smeg And The Heads - July 18, 2008 - Report this comment
* SOB * It's waaaay better than my parody of this OS!

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