Oh! Seems Santa got stewed
From way too much stout
An elf with a ‘tude
Knocked all his teeth out
Santa Claus is gumming food down

Saint Nick made a pass
At Wink the elf’s wife
Thank goodness Wink had
A club, not a knife
Santa Claus is gumming food down

Incisors and some canines
Would help to bite and chew
He starts his lunch at noon time
But, it’s night before he’s through

So…he bought a new grin
Thought he’d save a bit
The uppers are tin
The lowers don’t fit
Santa Claus is gumming food down

Cookies are out
They hurt his gums
Leave him some cake
When Christmas Eve comes
Santa Claus is gumming food down

Pillow in air,
He yells, “What’s the deal?”
No change is there
Tooth Fairy ain’t real
Santa Claus is gumming food down

He’s shunning peanut brittle
And no more Jujubes
His pantry’s stocked with Gerber’s jars
Of creamed spinach and strained peas

Oh! Yes, Santa got stewed
From way too much stout
An elf with a ‘tude
Knocked all his teeth out
Santa Claus is gumming
Santa Claus is gumming
Santa Claus is gumming
Food down