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Song Parodies -> "Onward Penguin Soldiers"

Original Song Title:

"Onward Christian Soldiers"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Onward Penguin Soldiers"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

If you are interested in learning more about The Fridge Penguin, please click here..................The OH (Original Hymn) will start playing if you click here
Onward, Penguin soldiers
Marching as to war
Turning off the fridge lights
when we close the door
Fridge Penguin their Master
Switchward waddles He!
Ceding to the da-rkne-ss

Onward, Penguin soldiers
Marching as to war
Keeping us in darkness
That is what they're for

As the fridge door clo-oses
Satan cries "At last!"
Then the Penguin Soldiers
say "Whoa, not so fast!"
Hell's foundations quiver
when the whiskers twitch
of the Penguin So-ld-iers
waddling to the switch


Like a mighty army
cubby-bound they hide
only to emerge when
we can't see inside
They are not divided
All one body they,
one in faithful du-u-uty,
stay alert all day


Meat and eggs get nervous
nearing use-by date
but the Penguin soldiers
don't prevaricate
Gates of hell can never
Penguins indispose
Never will a light stay o-on
once the door is closed


Kelvinator owners
Join the happy throng
Blend with Westinghousers
in their faithful song.
Glory, laud, and honor
unto Fridge Pengu-in
As through countless a-ages
men and Penguins sing....

"Onward, Penguin soldiers
Marching as to war
Keeping us in darkness

they're for"


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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
I might have to use this battle song to rouse up my troops when they leave Earth to raise battle against the Walruses on the planet Pingu. It's pretty uplifting.
McKludge - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Love it "switchward waddles he!"
alvin - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
i KNEW the penguins performed important duties, but they fight satan TOO ?...hats off to our birds in black and whote
Ravyn Rant - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
(*sniff*) That was beautiful, man! It made me want to go door-to-door and talk to strangers about the Fridge Penguin. 555
Phil Alexander - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Yea, verily hath it been spoken that Hell shall freeze over when the Fridge Penguin doth open the door to the freezer cabinet. Or something like that. Fantastic stuff, Stu - the Fridge Penguin (I just made a heretical typo, "Fringe Penguin"... might cause a breakaway sect, do you think? now.. where was I?) has really brought out a creative streak, hasn't it? The amiright equivalent of religious art, methinks...
Kristof Robertson - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
And verily, the faithful gathered as the fridge penguin delivered the sermon on the bag of, mount..."Blessed be the icemakers". 555
Dee Range - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Maybe you've read Dan Brown's first fatally flawed and failed book, "The Fridge Penguin Code", about a young penguin's quest for his own Holy Grail, a Fridge that could turn it's own light out. He was branded as a heretic and kicked out of the flock, eventually migrating to Pittsburgh where he founded a hockey team called.....the Penguins! Super-terrific imagination, Stu, although we all learned that when "Dueling Mangoes" came out. Top Shelf 5's
stuart mcarthur - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Bless you Matthias, McKludge, alvin, Ravyn, Phil, Kristof, and Dee......and please contribute to the collection plate on the way out...

Phil - you reckon all this amiright output is good? You should've seen the stuff the Medicis commissioned

Blessed indeed, Kristof, for they shall inherit the smurf (a little plastic doll with crazy hair)

welcome back Dee! - and it is the spiritual responsibility of all Penguinians to make a pilgrimage to Pittsburgh at least once in their life
PMS - November 16, 2007 - Report this comment
For those who follow The Fridge Penguin, the number of "The Beast" is 555

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