Me and my new bride, lyin' in bed
Should a' lied better, too late, we're wed
Went to the doctor and the doctor said,
"Can't have children, too short in bed"

Can't conceive a baby, I'm Short In, Short In,
Can't conceive a baby, I'm Short In Bed
(Ohh) Can't conceive a baby, I'm Short In, Short In,
Can't conceive a baby, I'm Short In Bed

When my wife found out she flipped her lid
"Why did you not tell me you were Short In Bed?"
From the kitchen, dishes flew
Mama's got a mad, I'm black and blue..

Can't conceive a baby, I'm Short In, Short In
Can't Conceive a baby, I'm Short In Bed
(Ohh) Can't conceive a baby, I'm Short In, Short In
Can't conceive a baby, I'm Short In Bed

"There's adoption, Dear," I said
All's not lost 'cause I'm Short In Bed
"Don't want no-one else's child."
Said my wife, could not be reconciled..

Can't Conceive a baby, I'm Short In, Short In
Can't conceive a baby, I'm Short In Bed
(Ohh) Can't conceive a baby, I'm Short In, Short In
Can't conceive a baby, I'm Short In Bed

Thought night and day how to have a kid
Need a baby, but I'm Short In Bed
Asked the Postman, my friend, Sid
Said he'd help, he's not Short In Bed

Can't Conceive a baby, I'm Short In, Short In
Can't conceive a baby, I'm Short In Bed
(Ohh) Can't Conceive a baby, I'm Short In, Short In
Can't conceive a baby, I'm Short In Bed

Talked to my Honey, and she agreed
First they drank booze, and then smoked some weed
Had a baby nine months later, but now I've flipped my lid
The wife and little baby ran away with Sid...

Now, ain't got a woman, I'm Short In, Short In
I'm short a lovin' woman, I'm Short In Bed
(Ohh) I ain't got my baby, I'm Short In, Short In,
I'm short a lovin' fam'ly, I'm Short In Bed..