When Lou went down to the woods today
For camping and outdoor fun
He packed his tent, provisions and spade
But somehow forgot his gun
He came across a ravenous beast,
And soon became a fabulous feast
Today’s the day a grizzly bear ate him real quick!

Grizzly bears are sure of a treat
On national holidays
There’s lots of marvellous things to eat
From rednecks to CPAs
In camper vans they start to arrive
Like TV dinners, but still alive
Coz grizzly bears prefer all their meals organic!

Picnic time for grizz-er-lies
They’re acting busily- preparing a realtor buffet
One poor bear’s in misery
The taste of lawyer just won’t go away…

See them gaily gnaw on flanks
Of guys who work in banks
There’s never a rib to spare
There’s lots and lots of skinnies and flabbies
But these guys never share
Because they’re greedy, greedy grizzly bears!

If you go down to the woods today
You’re stupider than you look
If I were you, I’d probably stay
At home with a decent book
There’s wolves and snakes and poison i-vy
Aggressive ants and petulant bees
And worst of all, those grizzly bear freakin’ picnics!

Picnic time at Yellowstone
Don’t wear that cheap cologne- folks call it “grizzly bear marinade”
Damn! They chewed up Aunty Joan
I hope they don’t choke on her hearing aid

See them gaily rip and shred
There’s no use playing dead
(They’ve figured that one out)
Don’t matter if you’re tubby or lanky
You’ll fit into their mouth
Because that’s what a grizzly’s all about!