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Song Parodies -> "How Much I Owe In Taxes"
Original Song Title:
"The Yellow Rose of Texas"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"How Much I Owe In Taxes"
Parody Written by:
Tim Mayfield
The Lyrics
Just how much I owe in taxes
Ain't clearly plain to me
I filled out a ten forty
And then eight forty-threes
I listed my dependents,
My cats and all my art
I took it to the tax man
He tore it all apart
I read all of their directions
I still don't have a clue
Such massive contradictions
I don't know what to do
They will send out for the cleaning crew
And clean me out you'll see
Then they'll take my stocks and IRA's
Seems my country's scamming me
Though my income's always growing
My wallet's getting light
She takes more than I'd give her
And she never asks polite
I hate months post-December
Cause I'm parted from my dough
I don't know how much I can spend
Nor how much that I owe
I read every single pamphlet
And now I'm turning blue
The math they used confused me
Is one plus one still two?
I should prob'ly stand in some long line
And pay a hefty fee
Cause whoever does my taxes
Will need psychotherapy
Well my taxes go up higher
While they claim it's quid pro quo
One more turn of nasty weather
I'll be living on skid row
Just sold my bed on eBay
Now I'm sleeping on the floor
I'd petition for a hearing
But by then I would be poor
If I don't pay all my taxes
The taxman says they'll sue
They'll take away my holdings
Though don't have much to lose
Then they'll tack on some inord'nate fine
And somehow punish me
But how much I owe in taxes
Is a mystery to me!
How much I owe in taxes is a mystery to me!
Ain't clearly plain to me
I filled out a ten forty
And then eight forty-threes
I listed my dependents,
My cats and all my art
I took it to the tax man
He tore it all apart
I read all of their directions
I still don't have a clue
Such massive contradictions
I don't know what to do
They will send out for the cleaning crew
And clean me out you'll see
Then they'll take my stocks and IRA's
Seems my country's scamming me
Though my income's always growing
My wallet's getting light
She takes more than I'd give her
And she never asks polite
I hate months post-December
Cause I'm parted from my dough
I don't know how much I can spend
Nor how much that I owe
I read every single pamphlet
And now I'm turning blue
The math they used confused me
Is one plus one still two?
I should prob'ly stand in some long line
And pay a hefty fee
Cause whoever does my taxes
Will need psychotherapy
Well my taxes go up higher
While they claim it's quid pro quo
One more turn of nasty weather
I'll be living on skid row
Just sold my bed on eBay
Now I'm sleeping on the floor
I'd petition for a hearing
But by then I would be poor
If I don't pay all my taxes
The taxman says they'll sue
They'll take away my holdings
Though don't have much to lose
Then they'll tack on some inord'nate fine
And somehow punish me
But how much I owe in taxes
Is a mystery to me!
How much I owe in taxes is a mystery to me!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 25 | 25 | 25 |
User Comments
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I'm completing form 15. Good work.
Funny and true. I feel your pain! 555
Of course, the trick to lower taxes is to not vote people in who want to raise them... ;-)
Cute!!! 5's
Somewhere in the government, I am sure there is a person who said, in all seriousness, "the budget will work if we raise taxes to 120%". Enjoyed this!
They say that EVERY DAY in the DNC, Rex
refundin' ya fives
Excellent title and parody, Tim. Of course, I agree with Meriadoc, and I would like to borrow your psychotherapist after he cures your accountant.
I'm getting a refund this year, I think... I haven't received one of my W-2 forms yet though. I'm filing this 555 E-Z.
To say I can relate to this one is an understatement... ****ing brilliant, Tim.
How much did you make this year? [$___,___,___.__]
Send it in.
Send it in.
(SOTM) Very good, very Allan Sherman-like.
SOTM - Tax is the spawn of satan!... 555 The number of the Tax
SOTM - You're collecting additional fivers from me.
I owe you 555.
(SOTM) 555 is The Number of The Beast after Uncle Sam has taken out 111 in Federal tax! ;-)
(SOTM) *shudders* I am not looking forward to paying taxes. Good job.
(SOTM) Ah, the joys of living in the good old U.S. of A.
I hate taxes, but I love this parody
(SOTM) 555 bonus payout for you Sir.
(SOTM) flowed beautifully Tim, just like the income stream from you to them - and I hope you declared the proceeds from the sale of that bed - 555
Songs that sock it to the IRS (the U.S. equivalent of SUNAT) are ALWAYS funny!
(SOTM) The best parodies take a topic everyone can relate to, and inject it with knowing humour, clever use of language, and great "flow". This one ticks all boxes. Bravo. 555
(SOTM) Very funny, Tim. I'm sure you'll get a good return for this. (Ha-ha, whatever)
(SOTM) Hmmm .. .as a tax preparer, I should warn you, if you make any money off this song, the IRS may tax you, just like that bed on ebay. . .The scary thing about all this is, do you know how many tax laws there really are? Here's a hint--they have a whole library building dedicated to nothing but the tax law---it's a scary thought. . .and the forms, every letter of the alphabet is used (Schedule A, B, C, D, E, even K and L all the way to Z) and 1098, 1099, 1040, 1040X, it's alot and that's just skimming the surface, bold topic choice.
(SOTM) Damn, this was good! 555 votes for a flat tax. And Dave, with all those tax laws, I'd wonder "Gee, how did this country ever get by for over 100 years without an income tax?"
Great job, woulda been funnier of ya posted it on the 15th...LOL
SOTM - Nice one, and timely besides. Send in $555 (every day) and the IRS will probably leave you alone.
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