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Song Parodies -> "Santa Claus Is Dumbing It Down"

Original Song Title:

"Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Santa Claus Is Dumbing It Down"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

How parodies make hypocrites of us all... I *hate* the phrase "dumbing down", but with all the usual brouhaha about "children today", I thought St Nick himself might be reacting to modern times.
They don't ever read
They don't even think
The presents they want are
Movies and drink
Santa Claus is dumbing it down

He's trimming his list
Of all clever stuff
'Cause children today
Ain't clever enough
Santa Claus is dumbing it down

He sees nobody's reading
He knows the darker side:
He knows that they'll be bad for good
'Cause their brains have atrophied


His letters they tell
A most sorry tale
"Hey, Santa ur gr8"
In Christmas email
Santa Claus is dumbing it down

He's made a new list
That's simple and twee
It's got furry books
For reading age three
Santa Claus is dumbing it down

They're sitting watching telly
Or playing console games
Or doing lots of simple things
That do not require brains

So, if you get coal
It ain't 'cause you're bad
It's all that he's got
That you'll understand
Santa Claus is dumbing it down

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   2
 1
 1
 
 5   16
 17
 17
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
AWESOME! 555
Ann Hammond - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
The dark side he he
Kristof Robertson (age 13) - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Deer Fil, I donnt tink dis iz funy. U SUK!!! omg; r u tryn 2 b funy? satna clus iz phat adn not funy adn he SUX!! Lisny Lohan ROX!!!! omg, thsi iz supid. :-D I tak it bak, dis iz gr8, U ROK!! 555+
alvin rhodes - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
great concept...i love it
Matthias - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Heh, heh, heh... This was gr8
Michael Pacholek - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
It looks like you came up with a great title and then tried to write a parody around it. This is one of the rare times that it works. Apparently, though, Hooked On Phonics doesn't work for Kristof.
Yoidy - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Great, but I still think the kids will need the cliffs notes version of this parody! 555
Below Average Dave - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Very Clever parody. . .me likes--555
Phil Alexander - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks, everybody
Michael - pretty much: I've got so many titles for this song, though, that it might turn into a Barryage of 'em. And I think that "hooked on phonics" for Kristof might turn out to be closer to a spoonerism ;-)
2Eagle - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
The holiday season is not a time for hate kids harangues.
Meriadoc - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Can you imagine one of today's kids trying to wrestle with a Spirograph? So, anyone want to join me in a campaign to get the goat's names in "Heidi" put back into German...?
Jessie W. - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Are you sure the kids are smart enough to understand this parody? I wonder sometimes....great job!
Tommy Turtle - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
I thought that this was strictly a US phenomenon... Did you know that in 1995, the SAT (Scholastic Aptitude Test, a college entrance exam) "dumbed down" the scoring standards? You can get a converter that will tell you what your pre-1995 SAT score would be equal to in today's SAT, sort of like converting dollars from long ago to dollars today, here: h**p://englishplus.com/satetc.htm#satcon. For us old fogies who took it pre-'95, it's interesting to see how much higher it would be today. (Of course, mine couldn't go much higher cough cough.) Anyway, sorry to hear that the UK is succumbing as well. 1000101011 (binary), or 22B (hex).*

*To convert to decimal, there's a built-in calculator in Windoze: Start - Run - calc (enter).
AFW - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
The truth about our youth
Stuart McArthur - December 22, 2006 - Report this comment
a great great title sub, Phil, and if their brains can't spell or understand "atrophied" is that proof enough that they have? - 555
The Thought Police - December 23, 2006 - Report this comment
So true! Three cheery 5's to you!

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