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Song Parodies -> "12 Guns of Christmas"

Original Song Title:

"12 Days of Christmas"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"12 Guns of Christmas"

Parody Written by:

Dylan Baranski

The Lyrics

Wait a minute, here's a Christmas parody I forgot! This one is 100% me (unlike my other Christmas parodies). Merry Christmas! 메리 크리스마스! Καλά Χριστούγεννα! Nollaig Shona!
On the 1st day of Christmas, my parents gave to me
A brand new 12-gauge shotgun.

On the 2nd day of Christmas, my parents gave to me
2 Tommy Guns,
And a brand new 12-gauge shotgun.

On the 3rd day of Christmas, my parents gave to me
3 UZIs,
2 Tommy Guns,
And a brand new 12-gauge shotgun.

On the 4th day of Christmas, my parents gave to me
4 .45s,
3 UZIs,
2 Tommy Guns,
And a brand new 12-gauge shotgun.

On the 5th day of Christmas, my parents gave to me
5 M-16s,
4 .45s,
3 UZIs,
2 Tommy Guns,
And a brand new 12-gauge shotgun.

On the 5th day of Christmas, my parents gave to me
5 M-16s,
4 .45s,
3 UZIs,
2 Tommy Guns,
And a brand new 12-gauge shotgun.

On the 6th day of Christmas, my parents gave to me
6 Smith & Wessons,
5 M-16s,
4 .45s,
3 UZIs,
2 Tommy Guns,
And a brand new 12-gauge shotgun.

On the 7th day of Christmas, my parents gave to me
7 Desert Eagles,
6 Smith & Wessons,
5 M-16s,
4 .45s,
3 UZIs,
2 Tommy Guns,
And a brand new 12-gauge shotgun.

On the 8th day of Christmas, my parents gave to me
8 Luger pistols,
7 Desert Eagles,
6 Smith & Wessons,
5 M-16s,
4 .45s,
3 UZIs,
2 Tommy Guns,
And a brand new 12-gauge shotgun.

On the 9th day of Christmas, my parents gave to me
9 sniper rifles,
8 Luger pistols,
7 Desert Eagles,
6 Smith & Wessons,
5 M-16s,
4 .45s,
3 UZIs,
2 Tommy Guns,
And a brand new 12-gauge shotgun.

On the 10th day of Christmas, my parents gave to me
10 Gatling cannons,
9 sniper rifles,
8 Luger pistols,
7 PPKs,
6 Smith & Wessons,
5 M-16s,
4 .45s,
3 UZIs,
2 Tommy Guns,
And a brand new 12-gauge shotgun.
On the 11th day of Christmas, my parents gave to me
11 Kalashnikovs,
10 Gatling cannons,
9 sniper rifles,
8 Luger pistols,
7 Desert Eagles,
6 Smith & Wessons,
5 M-16s,
4 .45s,
3 UZIs,
2 Tommy Guns,
And a brand new 12-gauge shotgun.

On the 12th day of Christmas, my parents gave to me
12 rocket launchers,
11 Kalashnikovs,
10 Gatling cannons,
9 sniper rifles,
8 Luger pistols,
7 Desert Eagles,
6 Smith & Wessons,
5 M-16s,
4 .45s,
3 UZIs,
2 Tommy Guns,
And a brand new 12-gauge shotgun.
Ho! Ho! Ho! I got a machine gun!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 1
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
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 4   5
 4
 3
 
 5   7
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - December 15, 2006 - Report this comment
I can't believe I'm the first one to say this, but... YOU'LL PUT YOUR EYE OUT, KID! I have to dock you a point for not even mentioning the Red Ryder BB gun from "A Christmas Story"!
Ann Hammond - December 15, 2006 - Report this comment
you have some interesting parents
Shiek of the Mutilated - December 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Where are the Glocks?!!
Dylan Baranski - January 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Sorry Mike, but this parody is about guns that shoot bullets. But yes, these could put your eye out big time if you're not careful. As for the Glocks, you could put them in on the 2nd, 4th, or 5th days for an alternate version of this song.
Andria - September 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Dylan, your greatest fan wants you to know that if this song were real life, your parents (and probably you, too) would be called domestic terrorists and you would all be jailed for a long, long time. It's very funny, though. I am planning on recording myself singing it on an old Dictaphone and playing it at my office "Festivus" party. Here are 333 Scud missiles to finish off Bin Laden for good.
Grampa - December 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Now I know where my 45 went. I'll have to talk to you mother.
Wayne - December 18, 2008 - Report this comment
I only wish my parents would get me all the things on this list!!!
will - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
why the change to a ppk on day 7? sorta ruins the rythm. very nice though just a pitty its mainly all pistols. know i just need to find someone to make a ww2 gun collection one. on the 3rd day of war my sgt gave to me 3 kar98's, 2 ppsh, and a thompson machine gun
Dylan Baranski - December 19, 2009 - Report this comment
The PPK part was a typo. Sorry about that.
Cody b - October 14, 2012 - Report this comment
As a somewhat new employee at the gun shop/range, we have to sing a Xmas song for our Christmas dinner!!! THIS IS PERFECT!!!
c.w. howard - November 29, 2017 - Report this comment
Amusing, slightly clever. Parents would seem to be very sell-to-do, at least. Some thousands of dollars represented there, I would say.
Cris - August 02, 2018 - Report this comment
It shouldn't be 12 gauge shotgun. It should be .45 cal. As in "pear tree...acp" see they rhyme. And a .45 ayyy ceee peee. Much better
Rob Arndt - August 02, 2018 - Report this comment
Or alternatively a brand new HK G-3 or a brand new Steyr TMP. There's also M-60, RPG, STG, etc... I've done this same OS using other weapons. I wasn't here in 2006, so I missed yours. 555! Glad you used the Luger, the most recognized pistol in the world.

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