Once a jolly Bogan lit up by a billabong
Clutched in his hand was a beer or three
And he sang as puffed and supped upon his Castlemaine
"Who'll come a-boozin' and smoking with me"

Boozing and smoking
Puking and choking
Who'll come a-boozing and smoking with me
And he sang to the Sheilas who passed beside the billabong
Who'll come a cruising and poking with me?

So he opened a nightclub, and yes he called it "Billabong"
Charging a fortune for trendy entry
And he sang as he watched an endless stream of cash flow in
"Who'll come a-boozin' and smoking with me"

Boozing and smoking
Floozing and joking
Who'll come a-boozin' and smoking with me
And he sang as he watched an endless stream of cash flow in
Who'll come a-boozin' and smoking with me

Up came a punter to score at the Billabong
Wanting to purchase some snow, H or E
But the cop's badge came out and he tried to put the handcuffs on
You'll come a cruising to chokey with me

Cruising to chokey
Not okey-dokey
Cop says "You're cruising to chokey with me"
And he smiled as he tried to put the shiny handcuffs on
You'll come a cruising to chokey with me

Up jumped the Bogan, waving his sawn-off shotgun
"You'll never catch me alive said he"
But the SWAT team burst in from all around the Billabong
Time to start shooting and smoking, whoopee!

Shooting and smoking
Dying and croaking
SWAT firing, shooting and smoking with glee
Now his ghost can be heard in the burnt wreck of the Billabong
"Who'll come a-boozin' and smoking with me"