Since my hair fell away, throw an Old Rug Across
This fuzz hat to cover my brain
Just an Old Rug I toss, not expensive, nor best
Kinda' looks like some gray rat's been slain

But, I'll cherish that Old Rug I Toss,
False and phony, up there, on my crown
I'll keep throwing The Old Rug Across,
No exchanging, till implants come down

With The Old Rug Across, every morning I stroll
Thanks to velcro, good traction prevails
Let the breeze strongly blow..I'm protected above
There's no way this toupee wind sails

And I'll cherish the Old Rug I Toss
False and phony, up there on my crown
I'll keep throwing The Old Rug Across
No exchanging, till implants come down

The old rug looks like moss, stained with coffee and tears,
Still, it's like an old friend of mine
Bought from some catalog, and I've worn it for years
Without it my whole scalp would shine

I will cherish the Old Rug I Toss
Lookin' silly, there high on the crown
Won't stop throwing The Old Rug Across
No exchanging, till implants come down

It's a weird albatross perched up high on my head
Much humiliation, I bear
Stashing money away, and I'll show them some day
This bald head will have real growing hair..

Till then, I'll keep that old Rug I Toss
Flaunt it proudly, up high on my crown
Just keep throwing The Old Rug Across
There's no changing, till implants come down