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Song Parodies -> "The Treats Of Libido"

Original Song Title:

"The Streets Of Laredo"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"The Treats Of Libido"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

As I went seeking The Treats Of Libido
As I looked for great libido, one night
I spy, in a barroom, an interesting lady
An interesting lady, I feel is just right

I lasso the courage, throw out my best "Pick Up"
These slick words I say, as I turn on white teeth,
"Were you waiting for me, or am I just lucky?
I'll bet your bun krunches are sweet as a Heath!"

She flutters dark lashes, and gives me a bug look,
My eyes slowly dance on her low cleavage dress
Two crimson lips move with a negative answer
But, her body language spells out a big "Yes"

I slide on the next stool and try more mouth magic,
She sips her martini, the olive, she tongues
Our chemistry mixes, cyclones my emotions
Each wisp of her perfume is branding my lungs

She deep throats her drink, so, I buy her another
My choice of poison is Jack Daniels, straight
We chat about nothing, but I feel connections
Testosterone's anxious, the hour grows late

I toss her my name, she says hers is Carlessa
Blond hair hangs in tresses and coils like a spring
Her movements and gestures are smooth as a Cobra
She smiles while I babble, and blows a smoke ring

Again, her glass empties, I beckon the barkeep
He doesn't seem happy, his manner is curt
I watch as he mixes the clear gin and vermouth
The pour from the crushed ice, an olive insert

He leaves, and I blurt out my bold proposition
Her answer is, "leave if you value your life!
Enjoyed the chit chat. obliged for the drink buys,
But, you see, Gary Glib, I'm the bartender's wife!"

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

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John Barry - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
I was expecting a "Crying Game" conclusion. Good twist in any case; good buildup.
alvin rhodes - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
great job of parodying AND storytelling
Lionel Mertens - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
5's
Meriadoc - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
I bet she was great for businees! Good job.
Dee Range - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Great story, AFW...as a former bartender, I've had many nights with guys hitting upon my girlfriend sitting at the bar...one guy even left, and came back with a dozen roses lol. She pretty much followed this exact script. 555
Michael Pacholek - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
And an "O. Henry ending" to boot! Here's a five for your tip jar!
TJC - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Perfectly formed! Cheers!
AFW - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, John, alvin, Lionel, Meriadoc, Dee, This almost happened to me once, so it's based on semi-truth...Luckily, the bartender showed some diplomacy and introduced her as his wife, before I went overboard...and thanks, Michael, and TJC
PMS - August 26, 2006 - Report this comment
555 I concur with John ans alvin
AFW - August 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, PMS

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