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Song Parodies -> "There's a Catheter Called 'Texas'"

Original Song Title:

"There's Yellow Rose in Texas"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"There's a Catheter Called 'Texas'"

Parody Written by:

PMS

The Lyrics

For some reason extrernal male catheters are called "Texas Catheters. Part of my job is to find the best patient care products at the best prices possible. I found a promising product line last week and sought to call peoples attention to it so they would Trial and Evaluate (T&E) it. Well I should have checked out exactly who was on that mailing list. In my email I said in a creative way that I could not determine if this new non latex version would be harder for patient care staff to put on than our present product. since "I didn't have the wherewithal to test it and needed input" Well this admin type took my message the wrong way.
There's a catheter from Texas
One wears externally
If masculine your sex is
Directs the flow of pee
Down a tube into a leg bag
Worn just above the knee
And your caretakers need not change
Your sheets so frequently.

Though they're not a high use item
I sought to T&E
Another vendor's product
That's cheaper and latex free.
So I sent around an email
Worded creatively.
Some white collar wanker read it
And excreted mason'ry.

'Twould be an understatement
To say he was appalled
At the way I voiced my fears
This cath prove harder to install
Not being a clinician
I could not make that call.
Nor try one on myself
For I have not the wherewithal.

When I learned of his reaction
I laughed til I shed tears
Offered to apologize,
Perhaps allay his fears.
"Say,"I'm searching for some insight",
"And not for volunteers"
But my boss says that to do so
Likely would end my career.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Meriadoc - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Best catheter parody I've read all day.... ;-)
alvin rhodes - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
i hope that doesn't mean "texas SIZE"...5s
Arwen - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL! I was a little confused at the title...but this is a wonderful little story, PMS! Loved it!
AFW - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Hospitable, and humerous
Peregrin - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm leakin' 3 five's to ye PMS :)
PMS - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Meriadoc, alvin, Arwen, AFW and Peregrin. It was a real CATH-arsis to write this.
Stuart McArthur - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
true(ish) story I presume PMS - which gives it that extra something - lovely - 555
John Barry - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
There are yellow flows from Texas.
Kristof Robertson - August 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Loved the story, PMS....I too work in healthcare, so appreciated it all the more....but the first stanza absolutely got me. I'm gonna teach it to our urologist! 555+
PMS - August 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Stuart (this is based on a true story) , John (I wish I'd thought of that line) and Kristof, it's nice to know there's someone who can relate to some of my job related works.
Michael Pacholek - August 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Anyone who's watched American politics lately knows that Texas produces not catheters, but enemas.
Red Ant - August 19, 2006 - Report this comment
"And excreted mason'ry."; wonderful euphemism there PMS (aka Sheep Trick: wow, I never would have guessed ST was you!), lol. 555
PMS - August 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Red Ant. I didn't want to post 3 sheep humping songs under my own name lest folks think me a pervert. Incidentally I took your advice and wrote one called "Happy With Heifers" I've yet to post it though. Still tweaking. Michael, sometimes an enema is beneficial :)
Aisling - August 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Your aim was right on target. LMAO!

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