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Song Parodies -> "The Ballad of Boopsie's Bazookas"

Original Song Title:

"Battle Hymn Of The Republic"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"The Ballad of Boopsie's Bazookas"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

Sit back and wonder, with mouth agape, at the autobiographical (and anatomical) ups and downs and ins and outs from the eventful life of Bow Street's Boopsie Rushmore

I used to 'ave these microscopic mounds upon me chest
attributes to which the guys'd shown profound disinterest
thanks to super, I 'ad quite a lot of pounds to re-invest
killed two birds with one stone

Glory glory hallelu-kah!
Bought...these glorious bazookas
Sure...ly oughta be the hugest
Bazookas wot you've saw

Now the doctor said "I've seen mosquito bites with greater mass
but you're not to fret - you'll be surprised (when you come off the gas)
that that Arizona gorge'll seem a ludicrous crevasse
compared to your bos - om!"

Bought...these glamorous bazookas
Norks...I 'ad were just a nuisance
Brought...me mammaries some uses
they never 'ad before

Then the doctor stuffed and stuffed in stuff 'til 'e had stuff no more
so 'e got his stuff-provider to send stuff from the stuff-store
pretty soon I'm more top-heavy than a plump Drew Barrymore
still 'e implanted on

Bought...these Oscar-worthy hooters
Told...the doc to serve me "supers"
But...I got these "superdupers"
T'was caveat emptor

When I CAME to I rolled over but from bed was quickly thrown
It was plain that my bazookas had momentum of their own
tried to hail a cab but couldn't fit - I staggered 'ome alone
Leant forward, whoosh! - I'm gone

Bought...these cumbersome bazookas
Lord...they're troublesome commuters
Ought...to buy each one a scooter
to keep 'em off the floor

After lessening me pace I passed the grocer who said "Cor!"
'e was starin' at a place where there'd been only air before
To his melons 'e appraised "Y'know you don't compare at all"
...and then 'e tried it on

Bought...these glorious bazookas
Sud...denly I'm scoring suitors
but...he's such a boring doofus
there won't be no encore

Now I need me bras all underscored with lead and metal pins
just to keep me assets juttin' forth like airborne zeppelins
plus they'll shelter children from a storm so everybody wins
...but things start goin' wrong

Bought...these glorious bazookas
Taut...like Tori's, only huger
But...this story takes a few turns
I never quite foresaw

I was sacked from me bus-drivin' job (I couldn't fit inside)
I tried backwards (but was much too long) then sideways (much too wide)
I applied to work at Hooters but was overqualified
I'm feeling woebegone

Since...I paid for these bazookas
Seems...they aint got heaps of uses
plus...they may be leaving bruises
or so one stud foreswore

So I told the doc "Unstuff me down to just a DD cup"
Said the doc, "It's like a beanbag chair, we'd never clean it up"
Got a job now with Bill Clinton (well, I hafta make a buck!)
He calls me Super"Mon"

Bought...these glorious bazookas
Thought...those norks'd had me snookered
Now...a presidential future
Just call me "Mounts" Rushmore




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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Lionel Mertens - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
I think you augmented the OS lyics to accomadate her Bazooms. 5's
Johnny D - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Now THERE's a parody that'll make every straight man stand-up and SALUTE!
Dirty Hairy - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
BRA-vo.....LMFAO all the way through. Huge 5's
Cat - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
And just when I was thinking that parodies like this existed solely to make me feel self-conscious...you throw in the old twist. What a hilarious tale, with a killer ending!
alvin rhodes - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
love the alliteration
Stuart McArthur - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks Lionel (well picked-up)

thanks JD

thanks Dirty Hairy - it was a long read!

thanks a lot Cat - I'm glad you waded through it far enough to get to the twist! (I remember your MB post about K1's avatar - who has attributes not unlike Boopsie's)

thanks alvin - I do have a fondeness for alliteration :-)
MrMacphisto - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
It appears that Boopsie is packing WMD's... Weapons of Male Distraction... :) 5-5-5
Stuart McArthur - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
gee, I could've used that! - thanks MrMac!
Red Ant - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Great work here Stu, GI-SE (great idea, superbly executed), and wow, 8 verses and choruses, with the 7th and 8th the best. You stuffed a lot in here. 555.
Stuart McArthur - July 07, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks Red Ant - esp for upgrading your GI-GE to a GI-SE - and yes, I'm good at getting stuffed (lots of opportunities to practise) :-)
Agrimorfee - August 04, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Stuffin' nonsense. :) Maybe Dame Edna Everage could sing this.
Chris Bodily TM - August 06, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) What else can I say but: Your parody's hilarious, you did an awesome job. This SOTM is going to be awesome. 555
paula miconas silos miconas - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) i loved the alternating choruses... it was really clever so many but they were all different. i was laughing all the way through this also... it was hilarious!!!
Kristof Robertson - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) First "99" and now this treasure. You seem a tad obsessed, Stuey; but that's A-OK by me! Lovely work, mate. 555
Meriadoc - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow! Just ran across this - a mammary masterpiece!
Peregrin - August 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice one Stu. Opps, I mean, nice ones :)
Michael McVey - August 11, 2006 - Report this comment
This is excessive! Uh, maybe try out for a halftime gig at the Stupor Bowl? -- MM
Rick C - August 13, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Woah, lot's of good "stuff" in this one Stu. Sorry I missed it when it posted. 555
Max Power - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM-Good
Cat - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above! And I find it rather amusing that she has a Cockney accent for some reason, I dunno why.
Matthias - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
One of your breast!!!
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - August 19, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Did my short temp pic on the message board inspire this? I remember writing something about "the usual handful of boobie themed parodies" that caught your attention. :-)
bobpiecheese - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) HILARIOUS twist to a boring old song, Stuart! Too many good lines..can't pick a fave. It's the breast best..er, breast breast...you know what I mean.
Red Ant - August 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Sees above? No, double Ds above!
Johnny D - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) ((See above))((See above))
wannabemustangjockey - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Favorite line: "I applied to work at Hooters but was overqualified" Too true.
Scathe - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You're crazy, Stu.
Arwen - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM...a mountain of an OS...(it's just so long!)...and a wonderfully silly parody. I love it, Stu!
Jeff Reuben - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
One of the better Boob Operation songs around the site. And I learned the name of this song (knew the song, just didn't know the name...until now!!!)
Guy - March 14, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5B)

WOW - Mamouth "mams". Very clever word play on the OS - easy to follow and scanned effortlessly and did I mention that it's funny as well. Fine work here Stu.
Agrimorfee - March 14, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Good to read this one again, I didn't even remember it...it was like reacquaniting with an old friend...will mark high...
Matthias - March 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Long, boring and old OS but the fact that you parodied the entire song about a pair of boobs forces me to tip the hat to you. Good job here Stuart.
Jason - March 15, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC B) Good job. DKTOS but was entertaining.
Max Power - March 21, 2009 - Report this comment
See above
Below Average Dave - March 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Have to be honest--it took me awhile to get it (some of the boob references actually went over my head. . .man this OS puts me to sleep though--good job taking on the whole thing.
Red Ant - March 26, 2009 - Report this comment
See above, and after nearly three years (!?) I still LOVED this, especially "I applied to work at Hooters but was overqualified".
Melanie Lee - March 27, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Cute stuff, and funny! Too bad the powers-that-be attached a Youtube track with only three stanzas! I wondered if Boopsie Rushmore might be a famous person or famous character, but I searched, and I guess you made her up! 5-5-5.
Invisible Boy - March 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Why do I picture Dick Van Dyke singing this ?
The line "Then the doctor stuffed and stuffed in stuff 'til 'e had stuff no more so 'e got his stuff-provider to send stuff from the stuff-store" was positively Seussical...and that's the highest compliment I can pay...
Jeff Reuben - March 27, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) An oldie and a goodie, I loved this years ago, and still enjoyed it now!

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