Oh, what a laugh on Conan
When that hairy bear starts moanin'
Whip-i-dee, whip, whip, whip-i-dee, whip, whip
Whip-i-dee, whip, whip whip-i-dee, whip, whip
See the crazy Masturbating Bear....
He's in a long white diaper,
Vilely vibrating, all hyper
Whip-i-dee, whip, whip, whip-i-dee, whip, whip
Whip-i-dee, whip, whip, whip-i-dee, whip, whip
Watch the crazy Masturbating Bear....

Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp
Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp
No one knows what's under
His white thong, it makes us wonder,
Pump-i-dee, pump, pump, pump-i-dee, pump, pump
Pump-i-dee, pump, pump pump-i-dee, pump, pump
To a tempo of the Sabre Dance
Like a taffy maker taffing,
All the audience is laughing
Splittin' their sides up, splittin' their sides up
Splittin' their sides up, splittin' their sides up
At his shameless, forward standing stance
There's not a dry eye left in the house
Big paw a'bouncin' the floppy white blouse
It's such a funny sight,
So politically unright
Far out, weirder than weird
Hard to believe how the censorship cleared
A reoccurring joke,
Only visual..no words spoke
Keeping metre,
What a beater..
Constantly, so feverishly,
An orgasm, his goal
Gripping, whipping, dipping
Out a' control
This bear is so sex crazy
Who can say, he may be gayzy
What a show man,
Watch him go man
Concentrating, and gyrating
In a Benzy frenzy sort a' way

I'll bet he does it night and day

Acting in a fiendish fashion,
Building up his bruin passion
Riding on a self love highway
Oblivious, not in a shy way
Almost like some pornographic guy

His baggy rag a swishin'
In a silly sexhibition
He just goes right on a whopping
Never slowing, never stopping
He could start a friction fire on his thigh..

Dizzy ! Busy ! Grizzly !
It's up and up and up and up
It's down and down and down and down
It's on and on and on and on,
He needs to set
Somebody get
a chair.....
For that crazy Masturbating Bear