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Song Parodies -> "Masturbating Bear"

Original Song Title:

"Sabre Dance"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Masturbating Bear"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

Oh, what a laugh on Conan
When that hairy bear starts moanin'
Whip-i-dee, whip, whip, whip-i-dee, whip, whip
Whip-i-dee, whip, whip whip-i-dee, whip, whip
See the crazy Masturbating Bear....
He's in a long white diaper,
Vilely vibrating, all hyper
Whip-i-dee, whip, whip, whip-i-dee, whip, whip
Whip-i-dee, whip, whip, whip-i-dee, whip, whip
Watch the crazy Masturbating Bear....

Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp
Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp
No one knows what's under
His white thong, it makes us wonder,
Pump-i-dee, pump, pump, pump-i-dee, pump, pump
Pump-i-dee, pump, pump pump-i-dee, pump, pump
To a tempo of the Sabre Dance
Like a taffy maker taffing,
All the audience is laughing
Splittin' their sides up, splittin' their sides up
Splittin' their sides up, splittin' their sides up
At his shameless, forward standing stance
There's not a dry eye left in the house
Big paw a'bouncin' the floppy white blouse
It's such a funny sight,
So politically unright
Far out, weirder than weird
Hard to believe how the censorship cleared
A reoccurring joke,
Only visual..no words spoke
Keeping metre,
What a beater..
Constantly, so feverishly,
An orgasm, his goal
Gripping, whipping, dipping
Out a' control
This bear is so sex crazy
Who can say, he may be gayzy
What a show man,
Watch him go man
Concentrating, and gyrating
In a Benzy frenzy sort a' way

I'll bet he does it night and day

Acting in a fiendish fashion,
Building up his bruin passion
Riding on a self love highway
Oblivious, not in a shy way
Almost like some pornographic guy

His baggy rag a swishin'
In a silly sexhibition
He just goes right on a whopping
Never slowing, never stopping
He could start a friction fire on his thigh..

Dizzy ! Busy ! Grizzly !
It's up and up and up and up
It's down and down and down and down
It's on and on and on and on,
He needs to set
Somebody get
a chair.....
For that crazy Masturbating Bear

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Johnny D - June 05, 2006 - Report this comment
AFW, you belong here on AmIRight. Now take your 555 milligrams of Parodizine and tell the doctor all about those little masturbating bears running around in your head.
John Barry - June 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Better a masturbating bear than barely masturbating. 555 pounds of ursine jerkin'.
Agrimorfee - June 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Sounds like an Ed Sullivan Show Episode From Hell! ("Right here on our stage, Petruska The Masturbating Bear!"). btw, the composer's name is Aram Khatchaturian.
AFW - June 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks to Johnny, John, and Agrimorfee.....This is based on a running gag that can be seen periodically on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" ........They bring out a masturbating bear who performs to Sabre Dance..
Anny - June 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Your parody is hilarious! LOL. 5-5-5 for you. I can't pick just one favourite part of the song, because it's all clever and hilarious! Great job.
AFW - June 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Thank you for your kind compliments, Anny...
Animal Semen Connoiseur - October 15, 2007 - Report this comment
I would like to try some of your bear semen, I have tasted everything from housecat to grey whale, but I haven't tried bear. Airforceone, could you tell me what bear semen tastes like? Thanks for your opinion, if any
Phil Alexander - October 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Definitely a seminal work (or something spelt similarly)... I was going to be clever and ask whether you submitted it as "Traditional" rather than by Khachaturian 'cause the latter is difficult to spell, but it seems that it's a different tune to the only "Sabre Dance" I know. D'you have a link to the OS?
AFW - October 19, 2007 - Report this comment
I think it was an instrumental, originally, Phil..... but, here is the lyric pattern I used..by Woody Herman http://www.lyricsdownload.com/woody-herman-sabre-dance-lyrics.html

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