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Song Parodies -> "Next Scene Calls For.....HOLY MOLY!!!"

Original Song Title:

"Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Next Scene Calls For.....HOLY MOLY!!!"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

A minor Hollywood bit-part actor is reading his scenes for the first time.(and no, I am NOT obsessed with Angelina, I just think about her every second)
NEXT scene calls for........HOLY MOLY!!
Falalalala, la la la la
kissing Angelina Jolie!
Falalalala, la la la la

Though I'll have my shoes and socks on
Falala, lalala, la la la
better put my iron jocks on
Falalalala, la la la la

Have to stop my raging hormones
Falalalala, la la la la
from affecting my performance
Falalalala, la la la la

I could do it IN one take, but
Falala lalala, la la la
I'll make dozens of mistakes (yup!)
Falalalala, la la la la

If she likes how I'm performing
Falalalala, la la la la
maybe she'll dump Brad Pitt FOR me
Falalalala, la la la la

I could be "the thing she's missing"
Falala, lalala, la la la
Bye, I'm off to practice kissing
Fa la la la la....

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   13

User Comments

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Paree Dee - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
So cute... and jolie, too. Scene 5, Take 5, and 5 to grow on !
Song Title Cop - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
TOS is just called "Deck The Halls." You did a fine job here.
alvin rhodes - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
a delight throughout
John Barry - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Not timely, but funny for fives. Don't for get: in a while. . . .
Jeff Reuben - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Loved the first verse, had me chuckling at work.
Phil Alexander - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Marvellous, Stuart...
AFW - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
I like Christmas in March...very good job, here
Stuart McArthur - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks Paree!

Song Title Cop:......................................yup

thanks alvin and JAB - don't forget: "overtaking"...... ;-)

thanks Jeff, Phil, and AFW
MrMacphisto - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL... You could do "Jolean on Me" next....
Matthias - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
What's next Stuart? Stalkin' Angelina to the tune Phantom of the Opera...
Stuart McArthur - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks MrMacphisto and Matthias - no, can't do either of those - my therapist's got me thinking 24/7 about calm rainforests
Tommy Turtle - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Good switch... from home page, was expecting movie to be "hard-core porn" - guess it was, in your dreams. 555
btw, you might like TT stab at OS two weeks ago.
Red Ant - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
"I'll make dozens of mistakes (yup!)" - great line. Your therapist may have you thinking of rainforests, but he doesn't realise "tulips" of the variety Angelina Joleii are in full bloom year-round there. This gives new meaning to the term "lip service". 5s.
Larry Hensley - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
TMGLTM, 555s
Stuart McArthur - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
TT: yeah, well titles that imply hard-core porn definitely get the most visits, from my experience - just a trick I've picked up ;-) and thanks - oh, and I had a look at your massive effort as well!

I wonder if that's WHY they were named after her, Red

thanks Larry
Angelina Jolie's Father's Friend - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Stuart, if it is of any interest, which it probably isn't, I had a walk-on role in a movie that starred Angelina Jolie's father, Jon Voight. She was maybe two at the time. I didn't get to meet her, but I did meet Jon. He was not at all stuck up. He ate lunch with us peons and chatted with us as though we'd known each other for years. I watched him do many scenes with Faye Dunaway, and with the very young Rick Schroder (known then as Ricky Schroder), but I did not get to meet Faye or Rick personally. I did meet the director, Franco Zeffirelli, probably better known for directing Mel Gibson in a 1990 remake of "Hamlet", as well as for earlier remakes of "Romeo and Juliet", "Taming of the Shrew", etc. Some years later, I had a speaking part - couple of lines - in a movie that also featured a then-not-very-well-known young actor named Brad Pitt. The movie wins an Academy Award and is nominated for five more; I don't get any of them; Pitt goes on to become a big star, while bouncing between, and around with, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Herself - small world, huh? - and here I am, writing song parodies. Maybe if I were a Grecian god like Pitt, instead of a little green guy with stumpy arms and legs..... oh, well. Anyway, you know the old thing about "six degrees of separation"? ("There are not more than six common-acquaintance links between you and anyone else in the world", so they say.) You are, in fact, only three degrees of separation from your heartthrob: Angelina Jolie - Jon Voight - Tommy Turtle - Stuart McArthur. Feel better?
Stuart McArthur - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
and you're only 2 away - and therefore IN the way! >:(

that is a fascinating story, TT, and I envy you - I certainly do know the film in question where you had the small speaking role. Narrowing it down, that makes your initials either RZ, JC, NLW, JL, RRF, SP, KS, SCD, MS-J or JB? Which one are you so I can re-watch it?

I also have a theory about hand-shakes - everyone is only 3 (not 6) handshakes away from everyone else (4 tops)
AJFF - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
They didn't want the Turtle's face in there (would you?). Outside of Dr. Seuss, looking like a Turtle wasn't cool in movies in the UK until 1985's "Turtle Diary", and in the US until "Finding Nemo" in '03 (this Turtle wasn't in either of them - darn!). They liked the voice, though, and used it for many background/crowd scenes, e.g. in the bar -- saying, "Murmur, murmur", and "Watermelon, watermelon". The two lines of TT's own are both in the chase scenes, both of cops, both off-camera, i.e. dubbed over -- a 100mph chase has too much wind/engine noise to record dialogue live during the action. I haven't seen it in a long time, but one line is something like, "This is Unit 12. I have the suspects in sight and am continuing pursuit" or words to that effect. The other is when two police cars collide. One cop yells, "Sh*t!" Yes, that was TT's big break in the movies: saying, "Sh*t", - not "Pitt" lol.

Since there was no on-camera time, there is no screen credit (the guy who drives the lunch truck gets screen credit, but not the voice-over people - go figure), but the checks from MGM/United Artists still roll in like clockwork every three months, and they still cash at the bank. I appreciate if you would rent it; I get another $US 0.000013462, or something, each time someone does. BTW, same thing goes for Ann-Margaret's "A Tiger's Tale" (1988, for background voices only), but that bomb disappeared very quickly.

Sorry to be in the way 'twixt Romeo and his "Jolie-t" :) :). I'll look up John, see if he still remembers me (lol), ask him to fix you up with his daughter, and then I'll get out of your way, but... I wouldn't hold your breath...
Stuart McArthur - April 01, 2006 - Report this comment
doesn't take much to impress me, TT, and I'm impressed - I will rent it again and keep an ear out! - I'm amazed you're still getting royalties - wow! - as for holding my breath, I can't hold them both at the same time
AJFF/TT - April 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, then, hold whatever is most important to you... :) SAG (Screen Actors' Guild) has very good contract rules on that. It's been 15+ years, but every time it shows on TV, whether pay-for-view or free, a tiny bit goes in the till also. The royalties were pretty good when it was in the theatres; they're not much now for just TV and video rental, but if you're ever in the States, drop by and I'll buy us each 1.5 beers with the next check, fair dinkum.

BTW, if I do get an in with AJ, you wouldn't mind "sloppy seconds", would you? I should get some "royalty" for hooking you up, shouldn't I?
Stuart McArthur - April 01, 2006 - Report this comment
hmm, I'll have to think about my response to that proposal VERY carefully TT, because there's an exceptionally strong chance that that might happen one day - and I wouldn't want to sully the ecstatic moment with any hint of regret (like knowing that when I finish I've agreed to fork out for 1.5 free beers)
Jon Voight - April 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Tommy! Long time, no see! Of course I remember you... Little green guy with flippers instead of hands, who could forget??? Your friend Stuart sounds like a great guy. My little angel Angelina has been reading some of his songs, and she is very impressed! She told me, "Stuart McArthur sounds like Brad Pitt with a brain." She is very eager to meet him, and so am I. Call my agent and tell him what day and time work for you and Stuart, also where. Australia? U.S.? Halfway in between, maybe Hawaii? My daughter and I will be there! Good to see you again!
Stuart McArthur - April 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Listen, Mr Voight, one of your two-bit thugs wearing fake boobs and a bad wig is not my idea of a dream, wait a close a likeness can he get? 20%? Okay, you're on. I know a nice cosy romantic orphanage in Cambodia - tell him to dress lightly
Tommy Turtle - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Stuart, pea-brain confuses very easily... Which is likely: The date with AJ or the beers? And which of those would be the "ecstatic moment"? lol. BTW, does "sloppy seconds" mean the same in the Antipodeees as it does in the States? Maybe that comment was unclear... The royalty I wanted for hooking you up was first "crack", so to speak...
And weren't you being ungracious to Jon after I went to all that trouble to get ahold of him, and he responded so kindly?
Stuart McArthur - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL TT...I suppose any causal connection between 1.sloppy seconds with AJ (btw same meaning no matter which side of the equator) and 2. having a beer, could conceivably have gone in either direction, I guess, but the ecstatic moment couldn't have - unless it was a very very cold beer on a very very hot day - and anyway "first crack" would have been its own reward - and as for Jon, I've seen Mission Impossible 1 - he's done with foolin this little black duck...

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