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Song Parodies -> "This 'Heil' West's Not Where We Want to Be"

Original Song Title:

"The Wild West Is Where I Want To Be"

Original Performer:

Tom Lehrer

Parody Song Title:

"This 'Heil' West's Not Where We Want to Be"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

Arizona's SB1070 citizenship-verification law takes effect on July 29, unless a judge suspends it based on lawsuits brought by the ACLU, the USAG's office and others. Meanwhile, officers are training to avoid racial profiling, rental properties and trailer parks are being vacated by those potentially targetted, and groups nationwide are voting to boycott the state. I've even seen its postal code written as nAZi. But many state AGs support the law, and legislators are considering adopting similar laws. I express here the fears and aims of one undocumented resident. CHFUDNKTOS.
O'er hill and dale, you'll find me scopin'
Where the borders are wide open,
In the land of that bold Sheriff Joe. (he's law!)
Here the scene ne'er seems attractive
'Cause that sheriff's radio's active. [1]
From this "Heil" West is where I wanna go.

'Mid the sagebrush lands, they'll track us.
I've watched state troopers practice
Stoppin' vans that have seen many squeeze.
I'll drive in my Camaro,
And of course I'll bear a pair o'
IDs of some dry dead Veet-nam-ese. [2]

I will leave the city's glow,
Leave the land that's grand to sow,
Leave my growing leaves to go
Where I'm free.
I will seek New Mexico,
They're not mean like Arpaio;
I'll no longer need to show

'Mid the coyotes' human smugglings,
I'll watch the sly med-drug rings
'Till that cold I.C.E. catches me. (free thaw!) [3]
'Less Obama wins us clearance,
Soon you'll see our disappearance,
'Cause this "Heil" West's not where we wanna be.
[1] Maricopa County is legendary being tough on criminals, long before this new law.
[2] Most Vietnamese are legal. I apologize to anyone offended, but the words fit TOS so well.
[3] US Immigration and Customs Enforcement has not prosecuted or deported vigorously.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Dana Mathewson - July 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Way to go, Barry. You're prophetic, it seems. Heard on my radio today (not Sheriff Joe's) that illegals in AZ are having lawn sales to get rid of their "stuff" before heading south. Let's hope they are successful!
2Eagle - July 26, 2010 - Report this comment
"Heil" west and nAZi - ROTFLMAO! Why do you think all the conservatives from Los Angeles move to the Mountain states?
Old Man Ribber - July 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Fine job, BJM! I'm proudly documenting this parody with three fives. ;D
Barry J. Mitchel - July 26, 2010 - Report this comment
DM: AZ defectors might head east, north or west instead of south, unless other states follow AZ's lead.
2E: OR & WA used to be flight destinations for CA tax avoiders; now they've turned crunchy.
OMR: Your signature emoticon ;D is close enough to ID for me. Thanks to all v/c's!
LadyNorCAL - July 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Head for the Hills, Hills Brothers !
Patrick - July 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Last week Sheriff Arpaio spoke to a large and appreciative audience in Kansas City. No one left, despite a bomb threat. My solution to the immigration problem: every time we catch a Mexican picking lettuce or installing roofing tiles, we take a crack addict welfare mother, her live-in boyfriend and their futureless children and drop them on the south side of the Mexican border line. I would also favor putting the IRS in charge of border enforcement and let the immigration people collect taxes. That should bring our economy back to life.
Barry J. Mitchel - July 28, 2010 - Report this comment
LadyNorCAL: So why haven't you moved north or to a mountain state yet, as 2Eagle said?
Patrick: Arpaio's speech in KC may mean that another state (KS or MO) is interested. I don't go along with your "solution" though.
I thought to change "'Less Obama wins" to "Unless Holder wins", but with the judge's ruling today it's "Unless Bolton spins".

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