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Song Parodies -> "On Top of Premier League"

Original Song Title:

"On Top of Old Smoky"

Original Performer:

The Weavers

Parody Song Title:

"On Top of Premier League"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

As with a previous parody of this song, this parody owes more to "On Top of Spaghetti" by Tom Glazer -- which, being a children's song, I heard long before I knew "On Top of Old Smoky" existed. Pete Seeger's group The Weavers recorded the best-known version in 1951 and hit Number 1 with it. Anyway, it's not easy being a post-2005 Arsenal fan. You get all the drawbacks of being a big club (like being labeled a "gloryhunter"), and few of the perks (actually finishing top of the league). They had an embarrassing loss to Bolton Wanderers over the weekend. As Bolton are the 3rd-biggest soccer/football team in Greater Manchester (but doing very well this season), that's like the Yankees losing not to the Boston Red Sox, or even the Pawtucket Red Sox, but the New Britain Rock Cats. In soccer, the standings are called "the table."
On top of Premier League
all covered with hype
I lost yet another
game that looked like tripe.

We fell down the table.
We're now three, soon four.
We lost to those meatballs
'cause we couldn't score.

Our defending was awful.
Our shooting was bush.
And our hopes for trophies
are nothing but mush.

Manager Arsene Wenger
did not spend the cash.
So over the summer
that's what he must go flash.

So the ball will be covered
by blokes who can defend.
And a striker who will score
goals that streak or bend.

So in next year's Premier League
all covered with noise
let's thrash all opponents
of the Arsenal boys.
Oh well, there's always the New York Red Bulls, with former Arsenal star Thierry Henry.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Wild Child JIN - April 26, 2011 - Report this comment
I am not much into sports, although I like to bowl, but sports are much more easier for me to understand than politics, I don't nor am I able to comprehend nor understand polictics, but that is off subject, getting back to your parody, Excellent Job with it! 555 touchdowns for the goalie! ;-D Good Work! :-)
Rob Arndt - April 26, 2011 - Report this comment
Well done!!! Triple 5s down the line.
John Jenkins - April 26, 2011 - Report this comment
This can't be true, MP. Although I am not much of a Premier League fan, my team of choice is Arsenal, too. When I was in London last fall, I met one of Arsenal's midfielders, Emmanuel Frimpong (who is injured and not playing this year). It wasn't quite as much of a thrill as meeting Phil Alexander and Marta DTox, but it was enough to turn me into a mild Arsenal fan.
Michael Pacholek - April 27, 2011 - Report this comment
At the rate things are going, John, there won't be any such thing as a MILD Arsenal fan by the end of the season. It's gettin' rough out there in the North Bank!
John Jenkins - April 27, 2011 - Report this comment
I agree, MP. Lots of Americans are mild sports fans; but, in the UK, a “mild soccer fan” is an oxymoron.

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