Wrap her up in vejazzle
Make her look a right old tart
Cos she is in TOWIE
Herself is to blame
But she ain't no fortune teller

Cos she's a down right whore
Where the horses suck ass
To escape where we are from
Oh, you Edinburgh chaps
Wish me well you freed my mystery
To appear, to annoy her
Is to be Scandinavia

I'll believe in never
I'll believe in children's shows
Cos she is Ronald McDonald with tits
And I am not
My own prison is to show her Essex roots

Oh what are Essex roots when they're home
And there is freedom that I'll care
Cos with this freedom that I'll care
Essex, Essex,
Joey Essex
Vows I tell thee
Cos you're left Essex now, you clown
Wish me we'll and die
Die of death like Victoria Beckham
Stupid birch, I'll hope you coke
Come on your Xanax

To the rhythm nation
Of Brooklyn
Brooklyn is vivid and so is Chelmsford
So speak my boobies
In the Essex towns
Youth is Easter on the Tyne
You'll never believe its true
Cos your a Michael Jackson fan
Motown was Detroit
Grunge was Seattle
And many of things you'll just see to please
LOL
Cos I was the Essex boy
You'll broke my Beatlemania
And Beatlemania was the end of it

The night has come to show your ass
The night has come to show your ass
The night has come to show your ass
The night has come to show your ass
The night has come to show your ass
The night has come to show your ass